How to stop my childminding child screaming - HELP!!!

[saltire]

Hi everyone. I'm new on MN, so not sure if I'm posting this in the right place - if I'm not, then I'm sorry. I could do with some help regarding a two year old I childmind!

He (I'll call him jack) and his brother came to me on Wednesday, after a 2 week break, 1week because they were ill, and 1 week because i was on holiday. He has started screaming when he gets here, and i mean screaming, he has tears rolling down his face and is opening his mouth and screaming. it is so bad that i have sat him on the stairs, and have the door shut and can still hear him. Yesterday my next door neighbour came to the door to see if everything was allright as she could hear him through the wall!. I could really do with some advice how to stop him. I have had this for three days and even doing things like getting toys out, giving him a drink going for a walk just don't work. I'm due to go back on normal hours next week, (8am till 5pm) and am almost in tears at the thought of it. In the past he has come here nad been fine, and even when he came back after a 6month break because his mum had the baby he wasn't this bad. It's disrupting the other toddler i childmind, who is on my knee in tears. I'm almost in tears my self because i just don't know what to do, or how to help him get over it Can anyone help. Thanks/

Hi,

Try this...

Instead of just getting toys out and playing very formally and trying to get him to join in, play some music instead and start having a bit of a dance, a little bit funky and a little bit weird as though you are really enjoying your own company, let him see you. Say on the odd time WOW this fun etc etc... but don't talk to him directly.

This always used to work a treat... sounds mad but kids are intrigued by mums acting abnormal!?

This way he may start off by coming and sitting with you or just watching from a distance.

CW

I tried that, i tried getting out his favourite toys, i put them in the buggy and went for a walk and still he screamed. He has stopped now, but I'm really dreading another hour of this at 8am on Monday!!!

Do you have stair gates in the house?

Yes i have them at the top and bottom of the stairs and on the kitchen door. Don't worry he couldn't hurt himself.

The reason I asked is, my ds who will be 2 in December is a screamer (but thankfully I live in a detached house). He can confidently walk up and down the stairs holding on and we have recently removed the stair gates on the stairs (top and bottom) and also on his bedroom. The difference in his behaviour has been remarkable now that he has the freedom to wander about, I think he felt a bit caged in before. I don't know if this would make any difference to your mindee and I suppose you wouldn't be allowed to remove the gates in any case. Just thought I would tell you of my experience.

Hmm, could be that, they live in a bungalow!! My own child used to carry on like this if he was woken from a sleep, and the only thing i could was to let him lie on the floor until he stopped. As i said though, its upsetting the other children and i'm so worried what the parnets ( and neighbours) must think, as he's never carried on like this before. You're right though, I'm not allowed to move the stairgates.

Oh my ds does the crying thing too if woken from a sleep - the other day I had to sit holding him for 75mins whilst he bawled and bawled and bawled. You have my sympathies.

Dont 2 year olds just do this sometimes? Not a helpful or insightful post but my 2 yr old DD has started to do this over the slightest thing.

I usually do what coralswhisper does!

I don't think shutting him on the stairs away from you is going to make things better. Think the only way is to keep him in the same room and do "intersting activities" with the others - all the while talking loudly about what you are doing. Hoepfully he will eventually become interested enough to stop crying and see what you're up to. My dd does this occasionally - and ignoring her while we do something else she woudl enjoy usually works.

I know i shouldn't have let him sit on the stairs, and to be honest if i'd been on my own with him i wouldn't have, however after 1/2 hour of screaming we all needed some time out.

speak to his mum

I agree with Enid, you need to speak to his parents. I think you should get one of the parents to come and stay with him at your house for a little bit, just to settle him back in. He/she should stay in the background, but should be around until the little boy feels safe and secure and happy at yours again.
That's the only way IMO. Poor little chap...

That's a good point, and i do have settling in period with new children. However the mother wouldn't stay in the background. As it is it takes her half an hour to leave my house when she arrives with them. If she had another settling in period the wee soul wouldn't get used to being left again, she would be there, hugging and kissing and sitting with him on her knee, instead of sitting in the kitchen where she could peek through the hatch. I'm just not used to this from him.