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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Please tell me things will change

10 replies

bumbly · 23/12/2010 22:25

Now definitely getting really low as my 3 1/2ish boy is just whinging non sotp since his grandparents have come to stay over for xmas

whinges at suggetsion of going out to play in snow

anything falls or drops toy-wise he whinges

go shopping he whinges even though he is getting treats all the way around in trolley

wakes up whinges

am i doomed with a whinger or can i actusally end up with a boy in years to come who may be alright?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MumBarTheDoorSantaUsesChimneys · 23/12/2010 22:27

Does it get him attention from the GP's - thats usually why my DS does it when Nanny and Grandad are around?

Original poster

bumbly · 23/12/2010 22:28

no cuz my folks hate it and get mad at him and then it all kicks off

OP posts:

Tgger · 23/12/2010 22:31

Maybe he's tired- they get overstimulated with GPs (well mine do!!!).

Does he whinge normally? First sign of a present and the whinging should stop (I hope!)

Original poster

bumbly · 23/12/2010 22:36

whinges all the time recently even before GPs came

and he got early presents too from my gps and whinged and hasn't played with a single one yet!!!

OP posts:

Roo83 · 24/12/2010 09:01

Does he see much of his gps normally? My ds doesn't see inlaws very often (maybe once every few months) and when they came to stay for a week he was an absolute nightmare! I think it just unsettled him having someone else in the house,and also he was mire tired than usual as gps wanted him up late to eat dinner together etc. I know it worried him as he started bed wetting too. He soon settled down again with a few weeks of 'normal' routine and lots of one to one time with me

BertieBottlesOfMulledWine · 24/12/2010 10:05

If he's 3.5 could you try ignoring him when he whinges and telling him he only gets attention/what he wants when he asks nicely in a normal voice? (And then stick to it - even if you have to remind him constantly)

YunoYurbubson · 27/12/2010 07:13

He sounds tired to me.

What is his sleep pattern?

Your posts imply this is an ongoing thing, not just a bad day. You need to look at the big picture and work out what is unsettling your little boy.

My second guess would be an ear infection or a food intollerance. How would you feel about taking him to the dr to get him checked out? Or keeping a food diary?

GrizzlyMacDuff · 27/12/2010 08:03

DD gets like thiswhen tired or unwell or rather post-illness, for a period after when her body has less reserves . Has he been unwell recently? could he be run down? Maybe you could bring his bedtime forward by half an hour each day and see if that helps?

Also, christmas and the build up to it is horrendous for children, so much anticipation and change of routine/normality, it is not surprising kids have a meltdown with constant excitement around them.

BubbaAndBump · 27/12/2010 08:15

I agree with Bertie - ignoring until things are expressed nicely. Works a treat with our whingey one :)

meandjoe · 27/12/2010 09:18

Not got any advice but just wanted to sympathise bumbly. Sorry things are still hard for you. My little boy is now nearly 3 and half and soooo much better than he was when we last spoke (not sure if u remember but I remember talking to u ages ago when they were smaller!)

I think from our past experiences it sounds like it's his personality more than anything which I know is not what u want to hear but there is no magic cure. Ignoring it will help though. My ds is very rarely whingy now but is still extremely strong willed and VERY argumentative and gets hyper easily which is probably very normal for a 3 year old so I am not too concerned.

He is certainly happier than he was before and is generally fairly easy since I learned to ignore the whinging and put him on the naughty step for genuinely naughty behaviour and tantrums (there is no reasoning with him when he was screaming at me, all I could do was shut him away from me so I and he could calm down!) Also really over praising everything positive that he does. Everytime he asks for something without whinging and plays nicely etc. I know it's hard because genuinely there were days when there was just nothing positive to praise and it was all bad behaviour which was very draining. It does work though if u stick with it.

He's lovely now, usually! I will add that the only time he is likely to tantrum or whinge is when he has an audience such as grandparents/ aunties and uncles, he seems to get over excited and just push the boundaries all the time. Maybe overstimulated and also I think he is testing to see if I will still respond the same in front of people! Good luck.

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