Do I need to worry about "stealing" and fiibbing in 4 year old..........................

[mymama]

Long, sorry!!!

My ds is 4yrs 9 months and obsessed with taking things to childcare. They do not allow children to take things from home or toys etc for obvious reasons of jealousy/broken/losing etc. I have explained this to him as best I know how, but he keeps sneaking things into his pockets and bag without me knowing. Each time I pick him up his teacher has another thing to give me that I didn't know he had. Yesterday was his sister's necklace, a kitchen clip and a pair of nail scissors from the nappy bag!!! This has been going on for months and I have got to the point of checking his things before we leave yet he still gets it in without me knowing. He says he wants show and tell and I get him things for that (bugs from garden etc) but have tried to tell him he can't have show and tell everyday. I also had teacher explain all this.

This has also extended to pocketing things from my dd's classroom (piece of puzzle or chalk), toy from a friend's house etc, clothes tags from shops etc etc etc etc. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to punish him, I don't know if he understands "stealing" and "lying", is this a phase or will I see him in prison in 15 years????

Hi,

I wouldn't see this as a major thing or even a possible vision of the future.

He seems like a curious boy that has a nature of a magpie.... My daughter did this for a while but it didn't last, she was just going through a little phase.
I used to say "oopps, look what you have got in your pocket", not really make any big fuss.
I got used to her doing it and almost turned it into a game, I knew that by the end of the day she would probably have something in her pocket, so I used to say...lets have a look to see what we can find and kind of make it fun!

Eventually that game got boring as mummy was playing it and after a couple of weeks she got out of the habit.

CW

coralswhisper - I get embarrassed taking things back to my dd's teacher and swim instructer though!!! I wouldn't mind if he was only taking HIS things or things from HIS childcare but I am honestly finding it a bit much when I find my kitchen bits in the childcare sandpit!!! I must admit the carers have a bit of a chuckle about it but they still confiscate things from him because they are dangerous to other kids (sharp nail scissors).

my son has just turned 5 and does the same thing.
its really hard as he will always remember to take it back to that place the next time he goes but i have started to check him before we leave anywhere and if he has anything i ask him " is that yours?" when he says no i then ask "why have you taken it. its..... and they will be upste if you take it"
then i take it from him and we leave.
i wouldnt worry too much hun as he is still quite young.

thanks for that madmummy. He actually came to me this morning with something taken from childcare and explained he had taken it a long time ago and wanted to take it back. Am hoping he is starting to understand.