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Behaviour/development

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Original poster

Dummy or no dummy??

12 replies

nearlymumofone · 20/12/2010 20:45

My son is nearly 4 months now, and hasn't had a dummy. We tried it a couple of times in the early days, he wasn't interested, and my take on it was why try to give him something that I'll just need to take away at some point.

He's started sucking on his thumb/fingers and that seems to soothe (and entertain!) him. I hadn't looked back re not giving him a dummy. However my mother-in-law keeps banging on about why are we not giving him a dummy, as if this is neglectful? and someone else has commented that at least you can take a dummy away whereas if he starts sucking his thumb for comfort he may end up doing that forever!!!

Now I don't know what to do for the best... any ideas?!!

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BookcaseFullofBooks · 20/12/2010 20:52

I spoke to my HV about this because my lo who is 4 mths won't settle without sucking. She said it's a bit late now to introduce a dummy.

I think the dummy issue is one of those things that everyone sees differently. If your ds is happy and soothed by sucking on his fist then I don't see it as a problem. Hand sucking is something that all babies eventually do.

Try not to question yourself, you're not being cruel.

mrsdisorganised · 20/12/2010 20:53

No dummy, he's managed this long why introduce it now.....have to say that I hate seeing dummies in little ones mouths so am biased! Your choice however, and you're quite right in saying 'why give him something that you'll have to take away' it's not worth it IMO. Good luck!

lagrandissima · 20/12/2010 21:00

Have heard that dummies can delay speech development. Even use with younger babies prevents them from communicating pre-verbally (e.g. with cries, screams etc.)

I've only met one adult (amongst hundreds) who still sucked their thumb, and that was more an affectation than an addiction.

MistleToad · 20/12/2010 21:01

It doesn't sound like he wants to have a dummy! DS never took a dummy either, preferred feeding or sucking his fingers. Now he's a toddler his conmfort thing seems to be his toy rabbit.

And you won't have to go through the trauma of taking the dummy away! My sis is doing this at the mo, she was up 17 TIMES with her LO last night

cat64 · 20/12/2010 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bakingtray · 20/12/2010 21:10

Out of my 5 children, two have had dummies. The first DC1 had one and it was a nightmare trying to take it away - managed finally when he was 2.5 and his teeth had shaped around the dummy. Next three didn't need BUT my DC4 sucked her thumb which led to her thumb looking deformed and teeth 'buck toothed'. Eventually after a lot of bribery she stopped at 7.
My 10 month old was given a dummy at 4 months - because she had started suinged her fingers - (which looked very cute)and also had started using my nipples as soothers instead of just feeding - which was sore.

I knew she needed extra comfort and decided that the dummy was less of two evils. I try to limit it to when she needs a sleep and never allow her suck on it out of the house as I also think they look awful! Will also be more on the ball this time with weaning her off it.
Good luck - whatever decision you make will be the right one.

bakingtray · 20/12/2010 21:11

I mean 'sucking her fingers'!!

OonaghBhuna · 21/12/2010 22:22

If he is sucking his hands and fingers he is teething!!!! They all do this! I wouldnt give a 4 month old a dummy you are not depriving him.

wannabeglam · 22/12/2010 20:52

If you don't feel the need to why do it?

I tried to give my screaming DS a dummy and he wouldn't take it.

My screaming DD took one at 3 months. It was a lifesaver.

If I hadn't (or should I say baby hadn't) needed it I wouldn't have bothered.

mousesma · 22/12/2010 21:10

Do whatever works best for you. There's nothing wrong with using a dummy, it won't delay speech as long as you are not using it to stiffle every murmur your baby makes.
However if you don't want to use one then your DS is in no way deprived.

mousesma · 22/12/2010 21:13

p.s. my DD has a dummy which we use to get her to sleep for her naps because she is such a sleep resistor. She also spends all her waking hours with her hands and fingers (or whatever else she can grab hold of) in her mouth. I don't think a dummy would stop your DS from sucking his thumb or fingers if that is what he wanted to do.

notcitrus · 22/12/2010 21:47

My ds was never interested in a dummy (I only tried when he had a cold age 3 weeks ish, and then round 3 months when he wanted to feed forever).
Then he got a horrible cold around 10 months and wanted to suck my breast permanently, so I got him to suck a dummy instead so I could sleep.

Since then he wants the dummy for sleeping but now he's 2 will nap without it - it's very useful having an instant soothing tool for when he gets overwrought. Even if I have had to buy a dozen or so of the bloody things.

He's never shown any interest in sucking his fingers, though. I don't like the look of dummies but I dislike unhappy baby or my lack of sleep much much more!

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