9 week old clingy baby

[pugglefan]

Hi there, as title says, my 9wo ds is very clingy all day and all night. He suffers from trapped wind which doesn't help. But he really hates being put down in his crib, moses basket, playmat, bouncy chair.
So, as well as any tips to overcome this, I'd also like to know if it'll affect his development as we struggle to get him to do tummy time for more than a couple of minutes each day, let alone getting him to lay happily on his back for extended periods?
Help!

Thanks for all the advice folks, my baby is 10weeks old and I kept thinking its all going wrong when all she wants is me, but I realise she is just wanting love and cuddles and its normal not her being too clingy- you always worry that your baby will end up so clingy (if you 'give in') that you wont be able to leave them and so am glad its just what most babies do!
I find my wee one is pretty good all day, and is happy to play on her mat or play gym with or without interaction from me, and she sleeps well (especailly in her pram).
Its just now at night she wont settle herself any more and wants to be in my arms. As with some of you, she happily falls asleep in my arms, but as soon as I put her in the moses basket she wakes up. This is not every single time as she does sleep here for 2-3hours sometimes and it is a more recent thing that she wont settle to sleep like before (she used to always settle & sleep here the first 4 wks) in her moses basket.
I was starting to doubt my parenting skills and feel like everythig I read tells you completley different things on what you should or shouldnt do when they cry....how long they should sleep during the day....to waken or not waken baby etc etc.........all of which confused & stressed me out even more!!!
Anyhoo its great to read other mums having similar worries! Logically thinking, I am probably expecting too much too soon...a first time mum worried over silly wee things that seem terrible when tired & emotional!

I have heard that the first 12 weeks of a baby's life is effectively the fourth trimester of pregnancy. Baby has no concept of being a separate person from you, so as other posters have said, it is perfectly normal.

I know it can be hard but try to think of it like that and believe it or not, before you know it, this will seem like such a short and fleeting time. Things should start getting easier in a month or so, in the meantime a sling is likely to be your best friend.

Puggle,

I sympathise, I really do. My DD was exactly the same, and so was I.

Things that helped me:

• A wrap sling. I could do stuff, she could sleep and the movement often helped the gas too. And if she wanted to she could look around.
• Osteopathy used to help her tummy wind. Every time I went she would parp and poop and parp and poop then sleep and sleep and sleep
• The most helpful thing anyone ever said to me about tummy time came from my sister. She just said 'oh yes, both of mine hated it so I tried but didn't force the issue. Obvious from the way they are dragging their heads on the pavement on the way to school isn't it!'
• Baby massage - our Sure Start centre runs courses but if yours doesn't there are loads about you can join.

Good luck, I know everyone says it, and every time they do it seems like forever away, but it does get easier...

My little six week old is the same and I really think one of the biggest issues is that we see these things as 'problems'. As so many posters have said, they are so tiny and still really need us so they're not problems, they're totally instinctive behaviour. My dd is exactly the same and I know how frustrating it is. I also struggle with the idea that I am somehow doing something wrong. We've seen her change in tiny little ways though; a few more minutes in the play gym, gurgling a way on the bathroom floor while I shower and so on.

I have to keep telling myself not to set standards for the liitle thing, she hasn't read G ruddy F! If we need to, we'll explore a few gentle sleeping techniques when she's a bit older but till then, we'll weather this bloody hard newborn phase, keep trying a few things here and there and try not to beat ourselves up too much.

First, unputdownableness seems to be not unusual, but also not normal. No idea on the figures, but might guess would that about 10-15% babies are unputdownable. It's not unreasonable to be surprised - none of the baby books I read while I was pregnant and neither the NHS or NCT antenatal classes I went to mentioned that some babies can't be put down! The only book I've come across which discusses babies like this is The Baby Book by Sears.

It's hard to know what has what effect, but what I think may have helped with our baby is to start by choosing a place that we'd like to put him down (bouncy chair is probably a good starting point as it's safe and lots of young babies seem to prefer being vertical to horizontal). Then when he's in a happy, smiley mood and not tired and hungry, put them in it for a short while and give them your full attention singing, talking to them etc. Take them out before they get grumpy if you can. Repeat and gradually try and increase the length of time and possibly playing with toys with them at the same time. Then start leaving them for very short periods of time (I always say the same words when I leave our baby, no idea if it helps!) staying within sight still, and gradually increase the length of time you leave them for and eventually also going out of sight.

I find our baby is happier the better he can see me, so if you're doing a chore like ironing, I'd recommend making sure they are well-positioned and that you go back and give them attention every now and again.

Don't expect miracles - you're unlikely to get your baby e.g. falling asleep but you might get the odd 20 minutes or so several times a day when you can rush around doing all the things that you have saved up that you can't do wearing a sling.

In terms of tummy time, apart from on your chest etc, if you breastfeed, look up biological nurturing. I've found the sling has also been very good for our baby's neck muscles. Our baby's physical development certainly on a par with other putdownable babies his age and he does very good mini-pushups!

Good luck, and would be interested in any tips from anybody else with unputdownable babies!

My 10 week old was unputdownable but is now happy to sit in bouncy chair or lie in cot gazing at his mobile for about 10 minutes, gives me time to shower without him crying. Today he actually settled himself to sleep in his bouncy chair and slept for over 1.5 hours! This is a new and most welcome development. He still needs lots of cuddling though and gets upset if not cuddled for more than 10 mins or so (if awake and not being pushed around in pram).

I agree sling is fab, also recommend a tiny love mobile, which I thought was a bit garish but he LOVES it. I'm trying to make the most of all the cuddles but agree it's hard, the book I read when I was pregnant says you must put babies down awake for naps from the day they're born, so I really wondered should I just put him down for a nap and leave him to it, but glad I haven't.

My DD was exactly like this and it is knackering and very daunting.

Don't worry about tummy time. If he doesn't like being placed on his back then he isn't going to develop a flat head from lying around too much. DD only started to enjoy being placed on her tummy at around 3.5m when she could lift her head and shoulders off the floor and look around. And by 5 months she was rolling onto her tummy every time we put her down. It will come in time.

In the meantime a sling is brilliant. I found I could squeeze a shower in if I fed DD and put her down on a mat in the bathroom and hopped into the shower and sang at the top of my voice so she still knew I was there (or maybe my singing drowned out her screams - not sure). She generally started crying again whilst I was pulling my knickers up but at least I didn't smell by then!

By 3.5m or so she was happy to be popped into the bouncy chair for 15-20mins whilst I poddled around cooking and she watched. And by 4.5m she was able to play in a door bouncer which she loved and which also bought me 20mins here and there.

I kept doubting myself too particularly as the majority of my friends babies didn't behave like this. But I honestly think she had no resources for self-settling and leaving her to cry would only have frightened and exhausted her.

At 8m she began to self-settle at night and at 9m she has just begun to settle in the cot for naps during the day (but only if DH puts her down - she thinks Mum should feed her to sleep!). They get there eventually. It will get easier....