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What can I do to get my 4.4 yr old to play with more people?

9 replies

NotNowBernardImStuffingTheBird · 16/12/2010 16:15

She's in Reception

Is a gregarious sort and not shy at all but has developed a friendship with one other girl which seems to be a bit exclusive

She talks about her ALL the time and doesn't really play with anyone else, from what I can gather

This is a change, at nursery she was a play with everyone and anyone type

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Al1son · 16/12/2010 19:18

Why is it a problem? Developing deep friendships isn't a bad thing. Is there some issue arising from this that is causing a problem? If not I would be glad that she has the skills to develop and maintain this sort of relationship and be there to support her if they fall out.

Adair · 16/12/2010 19:28

Dd got a brainwashing bedtime story about this issue when it seemed to come up at nursery. (Twas a mermaid who wanted to play with x but x was playing with someone else, so then they played with y and had loads of fun and the next day played with z and the next day they all played together. Yes, I know. But dd asks for the story all the time Hmm). It seemed to work especially given that like yours, she only needed a little push to remind her.

NotNowBernardImStuffingTheBird · 17/12/2010 10:38

I agree it is lovely to develop close friendships but as I said, it seems a bit exclusive - they tend to only play with each other

Adair I don't suppose you know the title of the book?

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Adair · 17/12/2010 10:50

Oh, I made it up! Grin

I make up a lot of stories to help her deal with her er.. issues (am a drama teacher so guess making up stories is second nature). Will write it out for you properly though if you PM me.

magichen · 17/12/2010 12:05

lol, adair, can you pm me too, i am having the same issue with my dd, it has only become an issue because she is getting upset that her "best friend" wont play with her all the time now and wants to play with others too. Also, said best friend displays quite a lot of naughty behaviour and i think this will eventually rub off on dd.

Adair · 17/12/2010 12:33

Here you go, this is pretty much the gist (it changes a bit according to how quick I want to make it or what I can remember. It's pretty basic and sledgehammery but dd was just over 3 when I first told it to her):

----
Once upon a time there was a little girl/mermaid called Melody. Melody loved playing with her best friend Lucy at school - they did everything together! On Monday they had so much fun, painting pictures of fishes with rainbow scales, then they dug for worms in the mud outside - Melody found a tiny wriggly one and Lucy found a big fat one.

On Tuesday, Melody went to play dressing up with Lucy, but NO 'I'm playing with Aisha today' said Lucy. 'Oh!' said Melody 'but... who will I play with?' and she went to sit in the book corner. She was miserable. Ms Redman saw her, and asked why she was so sad. 'Well, Lucy wants to play with Aisha today and not me'. 'Oh' said Ms Redman, 'that's ok. Why don't you try playing with someone else? It's fun to see what different games you can play'.

So Melody played with Jordan, and they pretended to climb into a rocket... 5-4-3-2-1 blast-off! And they visited a planet where everybody said lalalalalalala.

'Did you have fun with Lucy today?' said Mum when she came to pick her up. 'I didn't play with Lucy,' smiled Melody, 'I played with Jordan and it was SO MUCH FUN.'

On Wednesday, Melody played with Roman and Ruby and they made dinner out of playdough.

On Thursday, Melody and Jacinta did writing in the writing corner.

On Friday, Melody, Ruby and Jordan were playing chase outside. 'Can I play?' said Lucy. 'Yes, of course!' they all said. So they all played together and Melody learnt it's great to play with everybody at nursery because everybody has different games.

------

NB: most stories are about mermaids or princesses by request. It has absolutely nothing to do with the story!

magichen · 17/12/2010 12:47

thats great adair, thank you, my dd is gonna love this story. Have you ever thought of writing childrens books? I'd buy them!

Adair · 17/12/2010 12:53

Aw thanks, Grin that's made my day!

I do plan to write them all down and illustrate them for me dd to look at when she's older.

NotNowBernardImStuffingTheBird · 17/12/2010 13:28

Marvellous Grin

Thankyou!

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