10 year old Diva with attitude to make you cry!?

[Beks10]

Hi All,

I'm new here and could really do with some advice! I'm a single parent and my 10 year old is out of control, her behaviour over the past 5 years or so has gotten worse and worse everyday. she doesnt do anything I ask her to, she's rude and obnoxious, she says things to me that are so nasty that I sometimes break down in tears because I just cant believe what im hearing, she refuses to wash and brush her teeth, and she is just generally rude and has no respect for herself, others and her posesions.

She is currently going through puberty, and I have on many occasion sat her down and talked about it with her. And told her that I went through the same thing at her age so I do understand, but she just doesn't seem to listen.

I'm not sure what to do as I've tried everything, time outs, punishments, consequesnces, you name it! I'm at the end of my tether.

I've got to a point where I'm starting to think,if this is what my baby has grown in to at 10, what will she be like as a teenager? Frankly, I'm scared!

Does anyone else have this problem with their 10 year old? Can anyone offer advice on how I can try and get some respect from her?

Thanks for listening.
X

My 9.7 is similar, she is an only and very indulged by my DH, her DD.
If she gets too big for her boots, nasty and controlling behaviour she gets into a lot of trouble. Quariantine of her prized possessions, which are really soft toys. She is a child still.
Do you have a partner on the scene?

My partner and I split when she was 2, but she see's him regularly, I think she's torn between the two of us, which isnt helping her behaviour, and she has expressed that she feels like the odd one out at school because her home situation is different to that of her friends.

She doesn't really have any 'prized posessions' she's never really been interested in 'things' so I don't really have anything to bargain with!!

I have a 9 year old DD. Yesterday she wasn't allowed to watch TV as a punishment for talking to me so rudely. The day before, similar issue, I confiscated her nintendo. Tonight, same issue, I sent her to bed early. I don't get it why she doesn't learn that it's not in her interests to speak to me in a civil way. She is very lax with personal hygeine too - doesn't clean her teeth properly, will wear skanky clothes, leaves her dirty knickers and socks outside her bedroom (for the fairies to pick up no doubt!). I haul her out of bed and make her go and put them in the laundry. I wish I knew the answers. Her father is far more forgiving of her but my boundaries stay the same. I will not have her talk to me as tho I'm smthng she stepped in. I have no idea if she will come to her senses before puberty - or if it wilkl just get worse. Sorry - not much help, except to say you are not alone.