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DD wont feed herself AT ALL - Sensory issues?

7 replies

toomuchtothinkabout · 10/12/2010 22:23

16m DD eats a good balanced diet and good amounts too (just wont drink any milk).

Problem is she will not feed herself anything at all, not even if she's offered crisps or chocolate (she's never even tasted the stuff so maybe thats why?). As soon as she realises its food, she tries to feed it to me or throws it on the floor, wont even taste it.

When she was about 12-13 months, I went through a month of offering her a variety of just finger foods for lunch but this just made things worse, in the beginning she at least attempted to eat bits of it but by the end, wouldn't put a single thing in her mouth. I just gave up in the end as she would be starving so I'd just spoon feed her some Greek yoghurt for dessert. I have always offered her finger foods from when she was 6 months old, she only started refusing it completely after she was a year old.

She's very good all other ways, brilliant sleeper, understands and follows instructions, well behaved (when she wants to be) etc. She's a good weight, born 25th percentile and now just under 50th for both weight and height.

I'm not overly worried but when I see other babies her age feeding themselves so well, I start to worry about her and blame myself (maybe I haven't offered her enough finger foods, maybe I should have BLW etc). She eats three good size meals a day, no snacks (although I do offer). She eats anything we eat but its got to be cut up or mashed a bit (which I'm assuming is normal at this age?). If its ready meals, its stage 3 so don't think its texture that she has problems with. Although she does tend to store food in her mouth for quite some time before swallowing. Could this be a sensory issue?

She's my first DC so not really sure what to expect, HV is pretty rubbish (she just said as least she's eating). I'd really appreciate it if anyone can advise, especially if you have experience of this and what your DC is like now.

OP posts:
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PolarMummy · 10/12/2010 23:16

toomuchtothinkabout - sorry dont have any experience of this but didn't want your post to go unanswered.

I have found food such a mine field with both of mine, DS will not tolerate certain textures at all he gags, then just throws up!! And DD1 doesn't really like chewy things, and would have preferred purees for quite a while!!

I have tried as much as possible to go with the flow and remain as calm as possible.

If you put some little bits of food on your DD's tray while you are spoon feeding her what would she do with them, does she play with them or get distraught? If she tries to feed you I would let her (provided it hasn't been played with for too long :) ) and not comment on the fact she hasn't tasted it.

If you give her a spoon and access to the bowl would she try and feed herself with a spoon?

And most importantly do NOT blame yourself I am sure it is nothing you have done, they are just little mysteries!!

thecaptaincrocfamily · 10/12/2010 23:28

Might be worth having a speech and language/ dietician assessment. Does she say some words yet?

thecaptaincrocfamily · 10/12/2010 23:30

Also has she ever choked on something and you have reacted in a distressed way during her eating at some point? Does she/ has she always eaten with the family?

thecaptaincrocfamily · 10/12/2010 23:39

IME reluctance to finger feed can happen for quite a few reasons
choking in weaning phase as a learned response from the parent.
Over zealous cleaning of hands and face during meals can lead to an aversion in tolerating messiness.
So the next question would be does she want to be cleaned the minute hands get messy/dirty.
ASD it can be quite typical to have intolerance to textures but I don't think she sounds ASD if she is good at following instructions etc. HTH

camdancer · 11/12/2010 08:06

What's she like with messy play? e.g playdough, jelly, foam. Also are there any other ways she is sensitive with senses? I think if I were you I'd try lots of play with food and different textures. No pressure to eat, just to play and feel. If she does try eating then all great, but no pressure.

I am convinced DS (3.5) has sensory issues. He prefers to eat certain textures (either completely purreed or hard and crunchy). We are building on it slowly. He also has issues with noise so can't stand the vacuum cleaner or hand dryers. We are tring to do lots of messy play where he can get his hands right in.

But he was completely blw, so that may or may not have helped your DD. Avoid trying to second guess yourself over the "why". You'll never know and it'll just make you feel down. Focus on what you can do now to help.

wannabeglam · 12/12/2010 16:48

My DS wasn't off puree till he was over 2. DD is still on puree (22 months). Don't worry, it will all change with time - you don't see children in school eating puree. Children have funny foibles which they get over. Just be patient.

Vittoria123 · 03/07/2024 17:10

toomuchtothinkabout · 10/12/2010 22:23

16m DD eats a good balanced diet and good amounts too (just wont drink any milk).

Problem is she will not feed herself anything at all, not even if she's offered crisps or chocolate (she's never even tasted the stuff so maybe thats why?). As soon as she realises its food, she tries to feed it to me or throws it on the floor, wont even taste it.

When she was about 12-13 months, I went through a month of offering her a variety of just finger foods for lunch but this just made things worse, in the beginning she at least attempted to eat bits of it but by the end, wouldn't put a single thing in her mouth. I just gave up in the end as she would be starving so I'd just spoon feed her some Greek yoghurt for dessert. I have always offered her finger foods from when she was 6 months old, she only started refusing it completely after she was a year old.

She's very good all other ways, brilliant sleeper, understands and follows instructions, well behaved (when she wants to be) etc. She's a good weight, born 25th percentile and now just under 50th for both weight and height.

I'm not overly worried but when I see other babies her age feeding themselves so well, I start to worry about her and blame myself (maybe I haven't offered her enough finger foods, maybe I should have BLW etc). She eats three good size meals a day, no snacks (although I do offer). She eats anything we eat but its got to be cut up or mashed a bit (which I'm assuming is normal at this age?). If its ready meals, its stage 3 so don't think its texture that she has problems with. Although she does tend to store food in her mouth for quite some time before swallowing. Could this be a sensory issue?

She's my first DC so not really sure what to expect, HV is pretty rubbish (she just said as least she's eating). I'd really appreciate it if anyone can advise, especially if you have experience of this and what your DC is like now.

Going through the same with my DD .. please update ☺️ any improvements as she aged ?
many thanks

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