14m old having trouble settling at nursery

[suburbansweetheart]

DD crying when I drop her off and pick her up, has slept a lot some days, and generally not wanting to join in activities. Was always eating very well there at least, but last couple of sessions has not been eating.

Back at work for 2 1/2 months with dd in nursery for that time. Had to change nursery in that time though, so dd has only been at new nursery 7 weeks. Only in 2 days a week anyway (mon / fri), and has missed days due to illness and then snow. Although was last minute, am happy with the nursery and feel the staff are caring and trying to help her. Also honest with me when she has had bad days.

Has anyone experienced this with their dcs? Hoping it is something that we can get through in time, but makes me feel so upset. Giving up work is not really possible financially, so not sure what other options there are?

Do you think she would be happier in a home environment? With a child minder? IS the new nursery bigger or busier?

It is bigger than first nursery, although seem to have more staff on hand, so think she might get more one to one (which she likes).

Home environment might suit her better, but wonder if another change could be more unsettling?

My DD still cries when I drop her off - she's been at the nursery for a year now!!!

I find she's better if I drop her off, tell her i'll be back later, and just go - I don't hang around.

They tell me, and other moms do, that she's stopped crying by the time I've got back to the car!

I also find that if she misses a week (if we go on holiday), then it sets her back a bit, so i try and make sure she goes evry week, on her 3 days, even if I'm at home for some reason.

She has a dummy and a muslin cloth for comfort - the nursery say this does help her - i'd like her not to have them, but if it's helping, then that's the most important thing to me.

They also suggested that i took in some photo's - they laminated them for me, and they show he rthe photo's when she gets upset - this also helps apparently.

She is very clingy to the staff, and they are aware of it now. My DD would rather help staff with whatever they are doing 9even sweeping the floor), than play with toys or other children - the staff are really good, and let DD do what she is happy doing (they let her help).

It is really difficult, but I know that nursery is doing her good - if she didn't go, school would be a nightmare!!!!

Good luck, and I hope it gets better for you, and your DC.

I'd find a childminder to have a 'home from home' experience.

I would say ride it out, she wil get better. It is really, really common for children to sry at drop-off. It's not nursery they dislike but saying goodbye. She is still only little, she doesn't have any concept of time or routine. She is upset to be leaving you. The nursery sound like they are on the case, and will help her to settle. I am sure that she will settle in her own time. In all the years I have been working in nurseries, I have only come across one child who did not settle. he only did one afternoon a week and there was a lot of stuff going on at home too.
Also be aware that part time children find it harder to settle too. Especially if they have a gap in between sessions.
As for not eating, she might be coming down with sometyhing, ther is a lot going around at the moment. We have chicken pox in our baby unit as well as all the normal winter illnesses.

My DD is 2 & goes to nursery just 1 day per week. She gets upset when we leave her whenever she moves up a class. I think it is because the class gets busier and bigger each time, and as only 1 day per week it takes time to adjust. She asks if I'll come back for her. Myself & the staff always say "mummy come back after tea". Apparently she stops as soon as I've gone! I would stick with it as it would just be harder when the pre-school/school time comes. As she gets older you can chat on the way home about what they like/don't like about their day.

no dont necessarily take out of nursery.shes only been there a short time,work with nursery to settle her.take in fave toys,familiar blanket. you have good rapport with nursery work to maintain that

do expect a transition allow time to settle and dont beat self up about this. childminder isnt necessarily any better.

and good luck