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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

3 year old and milk/bed

21 replies

domeafavour · 10/12/2010 14:01

DS, just turned 3,has always had milk going to bed.
But recently it has become ridiculous.
He is waking up in the night and asking for milk, but it has to be 2 lots. He is going through some funny phases, lots of rituals!
He will not go back to sleep without it. He will whinge and whinge, and beg and cry.
Am fighting a very vicious circle because I think all the milk means he needs a wee in the night and this is waking him up. He is also completely dry during the day, and I know if I could get him off the milk he could be dry at night.
I am thinking of going cold turkey and saying Father Christmas is going to take all the milk!
Do you think it would just take a couple of days of hell and then we would wonder what the problem every was?
We went cold turkey with the dummies and bottles, and it took a couple of days.
Please help
I have just gone back to work, and I am so tired, broken sleep, and averaging about 5 hours, I am shattered

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anonymosity · 10/12/2010 14:04

I think if cold turkey worked before, do it again. Also what about a reward for NOT waking you in the night. I tried this with my two and it worked very well. I would not advocate bribes for everything, but I value my sleep and it seemed a fair trade.

TanteXmasRose · 10/12/2010 14:04

bit different, but I breastfed my DS until he was 3 - the last few months of that was at bedtime only.

We stopped on his 3rd birthday, and he cried and cried that one night, and then never another word about it after.

Go for it!

tomhardyismydh · 10/12/2010 14:11

I would go cold turkey. But I would be about saying father christmas has taken all the milk as that would mean he can never ever have milk again or if he sees it in the house he would then be confused.

how about continuing with bed time milk and no more if he wakes, ever.

Original poster

domeafavour · 10/12/2010 14:17

I was just thinking FC because I know the dummy fairy works or giving the dummies to FC, that's what I meant really.

that probably won't work anyway because I have deliberately played down the FC and presents theory.

I just think he forgets when he wakes up, he is so used to it being a comfort thing to get him back to sleep.
He has been good going to sleep, saying " i only need a little bit of milk" cos I was trying to reduce it, but when he wakes up there is no persuading him!!

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tomhardyismydh · 10/12/2010 14:20

i think its habbit tbh once broke he will forget about it after a few nights of hell or just light diruption fingers crossed.

good luck, .

Original poster

domeafavour · 10/12/2010 15:15

think I will start tonight, next weekend we are out, so babysitter will be there.
Or shall I try it over Xmas when we are at my mums? Or would that be more confusing?
His cousin (same age) has just kicked it, so that could be could inspiration for him.

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Chatelaine · 10/12/2010 16:38

As others have said, go cold turkey, be firm, say no to further milk, last drink of milk is at tea time or just before bed with story. Leave a cold beaker/cup of water. Grit your teeth to the crying, it will pass and you will all get more sleep and Lots of cuddles in the morning.

tomhardyismydh · 10/12/2010 21:10

good luck but I would start now that way any niggles will be cured before xmas and happy times for all.

headfairy · 10/12/2010 21:14

how is he having his milk? In a cup or bottle or something? DS used to have a bottle of milk at bedtime but it started getting ridiculous, he was having 2 or three bottles at bedtime. When he was 2.5 we threw out his bottles and got him a special milk cup. He lost interest after that and only has a small amount each bedtime now.

I would agree don't use FC as the reason there's no milk. Does your ds like "The tiger who came to tea"? because I've used that one before when ds was asking for something I didn't want him to have... "the tiger hasn't had just one biscuit, he's had AAAAAALLLLLL the biscuits, etc etc" Works a treat!

headfairy · 10/12/2010 21:15

Oh and how about a reward chart for going to bed without milk?

Original poster

domeafavour · 10/12/2010 21:56

Bless him, he didn't even mention milk until teeth brushing time, that obviously reminded him. I just kept saying how he was such a big boy now and only babies really have milk and your cousin doesn't have any milk anymore. And "we are going to go to sleep like you do in nursery" (with no milk)He cried a little bit, but all of a sudden he just said " I only need a little bit of milk mummy" and he was fine with the small amount in his gruffalo beaker thing.
I have tried charts before with not much success, he can't keep still long enough for me to explain the concept!

He loves the tiger who came to tea, he can almost recite it, along with the gruffalo!!

Will see what happens through the night, hopefully he won't need a wee, so won't wake up.

Wish me the strength and patience I need!!

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Chatelaine · 10/12/2010 22:07

Oh bless your cotton socks, it takes me back...well done, he sounds lovely, so do you. Just a bit of reassurance, cuddle before bed, all will be well. Don't bother with charts, slippery slope imo!

Original poster

domeafavour · 11/12/2010 08:45

Well he woke up about one, and cried and cried for the milk, it was so sad, I felt so sorry for him, I nearly cried too. I just cuddled him. As soon as I left the room he stopped and went back to sleep, so might not do as much cuddling next time! But I think he exhausted himself crying.
I hope it's worth it.

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Chatelaine · 11/12/2010 10:04

Well done, and yes it is sad and poignant when they give up the familiar routine and so move on to the next mile stone. Remember that it's all to make him happier and secure so that he will settle at night with boundaries he is sure of. Hope he really enjoys his last milk of the day, knowing it's just that.

tomhardyismydh · 11/12/2010 11:52

sounds like you both done very well. i expect he will do even better tonight, thats if he even wakes.

Original poster

domeafavour · 11/12/2010 18:00

Hmmm, we are out tonight, to friends for dinner and couldn't get a babysitter so he is coming with us and plan is for him to sleep. He will fall asleep in the car, but we'll see what happens when we come back! Not ideal, but will just have to do it!

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Original poster

domeafavour · 12/12/2010 07:27

Well he had a huge whinge when we got back home, but wasn't really asking for milk. Finally settled. Woke up 5.30 and there was no getting him back to sleep. Didn't ask for milk though, just wanted to get up and play!!
I think he might be forgetting about the milk, but that used to get him back to sleep, so need to fix that! I need one of tthose clocks that tell them when to get up, never seen them in the shops though!

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Original poster

domeafavour · 13/12/2010 06:03

Only woke up once last night, wanted a wee, asked for milk, didn't cry, back off to sleep within 5 minutes. Yeah!

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TanteXmasRose · 13/12/2010 06:04

hurray! well done

Original poster

domeafavour · 16/12/2010 06:24

Omg, he slept right through!!!
8-6!!!

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Original poster

domeafavour · 17/12/2010 06:34

And again last night! Still asleep in fact!

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