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Behaviour/development

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using the toilet at nursery

6 replies

bookshelf · 09/12/2010 15:09

My poor 3.9-year-old dd won't use the loo at her nursery. Instead she insists on using the potty when she needs to do a wee, even though she's been using the toilet quite happily at home for a while now.
I guess this wouldn't really matter, were it not that she's really anxious about the whole issue and gets upset when one of the staff suggests she use the toilet. She takes the potty and hides it in the furthest cubicle so no-one will see. It's got to the point where she doesn't want to go to nursery any more.
I've asked the staff to let her use the potty, and they say they do, but my dd is still very upset about it all.
Any ideas? Has anyone ever experienced anything like this?
Thanks!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
bookshelf · 09/12/2010 18:47

bump?

OP posts:
hels71 · 09/12/2010 19:15

My DD is 3.3 and she will only use the loo at preschool if there is noone else in the area.....not the same I know...but one thing she does not like about the loos there is the gap at the front of the seat..it scares her and we had to talk quite a bit about how it is ok and she will not fall down it..

Greeninkmama · 09/12/2010 20:53

My daughter wouldn't use the school toilet when she was in reception. She just wouldn't go all day - something that she can manage but which I don't think is ideal. I can't quite remember what she said about the toilets, but I think the small size had something to do with it; it may also have been the gap under the door.

I spoke to her teacher and the assistants and they agreed to take her to use the disabled toilet. That worked fine. I think kids sometimes just don't like public toilets (which is fair enough). Your dd may just feel safer on a potty or think that it is cleaner (which it may well be). I would talk again to her key worker and say that she needs to be able to use the potty for a while without pressure. BTW, my daughter happily uses all the toilets at school now!

bookshelf · 09/12/2010 21:56

Thanks, good to know she's not the only one. Greeninkmama (love your name, by the way), is your dd otherwise happy and enjoying school? Am concerned that this fear my dd has is a sign of a phobic or highly anxious nature!
And how your dd start using the toilets? Did you persuade her somehow or did she just start on her own?

OP posts:
Greeninkmama · 09/12/2010 22:45

Yes, very happy and enjoying school a lot. Reception was a bit tricky for her because she is very young (late summer born) and started late. Plus she is naturally sensitive, has strong likes or dislikes etc etc. There probably is the potential for her to be highly anxious - and the fussiness about the toilets might point to that. But I just noticed what was happening - as you have - and we found a solution that worked for her. She was fine using the large disabled toilet, and she happily used the ordinary toilets once she moved up to Year 1 (different set of toilets and further away from the disabled one; I think she just relaxed about everything). Her reception teacher said it was quite common for kids to be funny about school toilets - I think it was her idea to let DD use the disabled toilet.

Sounds like your nursery staff may not have dealt with the situation that well, and they need to back off for a while. They are probably aware of that if they are any good.

mumtolots · 13/12/2010 23:57

Can you suggest that the nursery staff use some toilet training resources to help? This focuses on using the toilet, rather than the potty, so might be helpful for you and them: www.sensetoys.com/toysproduct_detail.php?productid=OF53CN850621&fld_search=toilet%20time

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