10yr old behaviour help

[sazzle69]

My DS is driving us up the wall.

1. When asked to clean his teeth or put his cream on (for eczema) he throws a toddler tantrum crying and throwing himself on the floor.
2. He will not go to sleep at night, His bedtime is 8-8.30 but he is often still awake when I go to bed at 10 o'clock. I have tried a relaxation tape but nothing seems to work.
3. As a result he find it difficult to get up in the morning for school and we end up shouting at him to hurry up.
4. He complains every morning that he has to have cereal for breakfast, despite having a choice of 4 or 5 different ones.
5. When told off it is never his fault " not fair!" " I hate my life" " you don't care about me"
6. He lies to my face
7. He is selfish
8. He talks to me & his dad with such an attitude.

I also have 2 other younger boys 6 & 4, who are copying his every move

Is this normal behaviour ?Is it me.

Please what can I do?

Sazzle the only advice I can give is to completely ignore the 'low level' stuff and pick your arguments carefully eg don't flare up at every thing he does that annoys you. The more attention he gets, whether good or bad, the better as far as he is concerned. Good luck

Tell him what time he needs to be ready by in the morning "i.e. by 8.30am you need to be dressed, fed, teeth brushed etc and ready to go, if you're not then you WILL go to school in whatever state your in!" and do it! my son tested me once and he got put in the car in his p.j.s with his school clothes in a bag, he's always been ready since! humiliation works wonders! :o

Also, just don't talk to him when he has an attitude and tell him "when you're prepared to talk to me like a fellow human being I will listen, until then please leave me alone" and leave the room!

how about fruit toast or waffles for breakfast, give him a change, all cerals are boring!

Bit of lavender spray in pillow, put on half hour before bed - avon do a good one!

Good luck!

8-8:30 may be too early a bedtime. Certainly would have been for my DD. Might be better to move it to 9-9:30 - he may then settle better.

Sounds terribly familiar, especially the teethbrushing palava (sigh).

I wonder if you could ask him to menu-plan his breakfast for each week. He'll still complain how boring the items are, but at least he'll feel that he exerts some control.

Lights out and no noise that you can hear outside his bedroom at 9 or 9:30pm. I have much experience with insomnia (mine & DCs') so have learnt to manage it. You can't make 'em sleep, but if you make it dark and quiet in the room, sleep is more likely to take them over.