DD calling out for Daddy when I discipline her. Anyone else experience this?

[littletinkers]

My DD is 3.4 and often if I discipline her or get cross with her she calls out for Daddy. It is starting to get me down. Dad works long hours and often only sees them at w'ends. He is quite soft with the kids and eg allows DD to sit on his knee to eat meals, spends time looking at animations on the computer with them. Lots of fun stuff. I worry that I am turning into bad disciplining Mummy. Does anyone else experience this?

I really wouldn't worry about this. Completely normal stuff - just galling. My DD3 calls out for daddy when I tell her off, and mummy when he does. When she hurts herself she cries for whichever of us isn't there - and if we both are, she cries for her siblings or granny! You just have to stay calm with it - if you show that it bugs you, she'll do it all the more.

Yes and it drives me bonkers. I have spoken with DH several times as, like you say, it makes me look like the bad guy.

I have recently been on placement at a sure start centre and assisted to facilitate a nurturing parenting course. I managed to get DH on board with it and we see a big difference in DD when we stick to it.

It's mainly common sense stuff like positive discipline, praise, kindness etc.

Sorry, went off track but what I am trying to say is if you can stick to a plan of action and be united then it may help.

Unfortunately, the fellas I have come across are notorious for being soft touches when it comes to their DD's

thanks all very reassuring. I thought it was quite normal but then a friend starting giving me doubts by something rather judgemental she said. I guess I like the fact he's a bit of a softy with me so can't complain!:)

Lol! Yes all the time, its completely normal

Normal. Daddy's a soft touch.

Ah yes, I know it well. I am No Fun Mum.

Yep - get it all the time here too (ds 3.1)

Dd3s first phrase was "bad dad "

He yells for me when his dad gives him into trouble

Then he cries and shouts back

" you hurted my feelings!"

My dd was like Greeninkmama's dd, except that her favourite approach would be to start to wail "I miss [insert whichever parent wasn't there and cross]" and when that didn't elicit any sympathy she'd sob about how much she missed the cat (cat died when she was quite small). Luckily she grew out of it as it drove me around the bend! dh is no soft touch btw, I don't think it necessarily is a sign of different parenting, although at that age it is certainly useful to touch base on approaches.

I think too that it's normal that a child who feels that one parent who does not approve of what they have done, wants to have someone else there to confirm that they're ok - maybe even that they were in the right and you were in the wrong (particularly if they know that the other parent is always the "rescuer" who is "soft" on them etc.). The only thing I would say is: listen hard - it might be that your child actually wants someone to talk to about what happened. If it is that they feel they were wrongly accused or even that they were being naughty to get your attention for something that is really wrong, then YOU can get your foot back in the door. You can play that role just as well as daddy. You can show them that you can also listen to their side of the story...

My DD runs to me squealing hysterically when her Dad tells her off. He's the bad cop round here. I just try to back him up, not undermine him. Just doublecheck that your DH backs you up, even if he is the 'softie'.

DS does this and has for a while. I want my daddy.
Daddy is hardly ever around and not really involved in any parenting, so why he wants him I have no idea!!