22 months old - separation anxiety or temper tantrums

[Unwind]

am at my wits end with my 22 month old dd

she wants to be cuddled 24 hours a day, and becomes very distressed/throws an almighty tantrum, if I don't give in to her demands because it is just not feasible.

I am trying not to pander to her so much, but am concerned that it is really separation anxiety, and that by not giving her constant hugs and carrying her everywhere, I am being cruel

any experience or advice? Her howls are breaking my heart.

Mine is the same age and whilst not after cuddles, does fly in to a rage, bang her head or wail at the slightest thing all of a sudden.
She's also taken to following my husband around (a lot! It's driving him mad) and hanging on his leg wailing which I suppose is a little similar to yours wanting cuddles.

I think it must be a temporary fixation thing, or frustration certainly on the part of my daughter, who wants a playmate all the time. Curiously she rejects her brother at times too when he offers to play.

Think she's doing the same as my son and having her terrible twos a few months early. I really hope so because he was delightful by the time he actually turned two, which would mean only a couple of months to go!!

I honestly couldn't say which it is I'm afriad but may be if you set up an activity, explain Mummy is going to do x then come back, and by then can you have built me the tallest tower (for eg) and just ignore whilst you do it. Then give the old see, I told you I'd come back, well done on the tower, your such a big girl etc.

I don't know but guess that would cover both basis, eg reassureance if seperation anxiety and distraction if temper??

Mumbar, thanks for the suggestion, unfortunately I've not yet found an activity that will hold her attention, for even a few seconds, as I walk away. She comes with me, screeching, and hanging on to my leg. I will maybe try and get her some glittery Christmas stuff that we can work on, and see if that works, and build up to bricks etc.

Lotser - that does sound remarkably familiar. My DD is an only child, but when DH is here she will sometimes reject me in favour of him, or vice versa. Which suggests temper, I guess. I would love for the terrible twos to be almost over, already !

Ooh, I'm another one with a 22 month old who has just started having tantrums, when he's always been so good - how funny that they're all 22 months.

He hasn't been particularly desperate for cuddles, but then again, that is often what calms him down.

I'm reassuring myself it's just a phase..!

ha ha, the 22 month gang! Each phase for us with our two has been a month to two in duration, so I'm clinging to it nearly being over, and the happy, independent little girl to reappear...

Aargh! Mine is currently getting out of her cot (still in sleeping bag) for the fourth time tonight! One thing they seem at this age is determined in their pursuit of company!

Well I've had the night and morning from hell. DD decided at about 2.30 am that she wanted to go downstairs. She was very determined, and kept on demanding this, or juice at short intervals from then until 5.45, when I gave up and got up with her, thinking that the neighbours might have lost any goodwill towards us, after such an extended period of screaming tantrums. I had given her calpol in case any pain or discomfort was behind it all, but it made no difference, and she was not complaining of anything sensible. I also offered her water each time I tried and tried to get her back to sleep.

She was obviously overtired, and like a demon all morning. When she was downstairs she demanded to be upstairs, when I dressed her it was the wrong jumper, she wanted to use the potty, but threw a tantrum at being put on it, so I resorted to putting a nappy back on her. I told DH that she must be ill, and I should take her to the GP instead of nursery, he pointed out that the only indication of illness was her bad temper. And we both needed to get a break by working.

I have no idea how anyone copes with more than one!

Oh dear!! What an awful night for you!

Ours broke out again and in ran in to our room at 5am demanding "MEDSIN!" - Her new thing since she was ill a couple of weeks ago. It's got to the point where my husband is giving her a teaspoon of water before bedtime...
I've told him he is training her to demand it every night but ho hum...

One thing I will say is that getting through a lot of these phases is less about finding the answer/the right tactic, and more about clinging on for dear life knowing This Too, Shall Pass

Yes, when I gave DD the MEDSIN, she was delighted, and then raged about not getting more.

Interestingly, the nursery report that she is being angelic there lately, never tantrumming, and taking part in all activities. They have seen a great improvement in her. Makes me wonder what I am doing wrong, or if it is just more interesting there, with so many more people for her to interact with.

Aha, then that will be her saving her bad behaviour and tiredness for Mummy having been on her best behaviour all day...

Great innit?

My 19mo has discovered her temper. If I say 'no' she will lie herself carefully on the floor and then lie on her back and SCREAM! Ususally it's when she is stopped from doing something she wanted to do, but other times it's completely random. Luckily at the moment it's fairly short-lived and I just ignore her until she stops. Wearing though!

My monkey has been delightful tonight. She has also just figured out my real name, so instead of "Mama!" it is "RealName!!" all evening.

She giggles every time. I guess last night was worth it.