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Behaviour/development

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Aggressive 4 year old

3 replies

Cumbriangirl · 08/12/2010 13:50

Hi, my 4 year old son started school in September, having attended nursery there for a year, so it wasn't a huge change for him. He went through nursery with the same friends that he is now at school with, and a couple of new children joined in September.

My son seems to be very possesive of his friends and very jealous if they are friends with anyone else. On Monday night his teacher took me to one side and said he had banged his best friends head against the wall. I was horrified, not least because he has had a run in with his friend before and the little boys parents weren't amused!

I took my son to one side and asked him why he had done it...he said that his friend has told him he wasn't going to be his best friend any more. I explained that even so that was no excuse to be violent and bang his head off a wall! I am really worried that my son becomes too attached to people and is quite "intense" in his relationships. My husband and I certainly aren't violent people, I do shout at my kids but then don't all parents!!!!

I feel like I am doing something wrong...I don't know how to calm my son down and stop him getting so angry....he has a habit of growling at people too which is really embarrassing!

Anyone any tips or recommendations!

Thanks!!

OP posts:
nextchapter · 08/12/2010 13:57

Maybe just a gentle talk about how doing mean things can make people not want to be friends with you? As he is clearly trying to keep his friends, maybe you should make him aware that his actions may actually drive them away?

Cumbriangirl · 08/12/2010 14:09

Thanks...we have mentioned to him that his friend won't want to be friends with him any more if he carries on. I am hoping it is just a phase he is going through! I'm going to have another word with his teacher make sure she is aware that she has our full support when discipling him at school! Maybe if he hears it more from her too it might sink in more.

OP posts:
nextchapter · 08/12/2010 14:31

He could just be over tired, it is almost christmas after all and its such a long term. My DS1 is getting a little narky over little things and I think he just needs a break.

Maybe have the friend over for tea, as to reassure your son that they are still friends etc?

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