Help - advice needed for 2 month old sleep routine

[zedwin]

Hi there.

I'm a first time mum and not sure what angle to take with my ds sleep routine. I have been feeding him bottles every 3/4 hours during the day and giving him his last one between 10-11 on an evening. This has worked really well up until now as he was sleeping through until 4/5/6 and would go back down easily after that feed.

However to achieve this he would sleep/dose on me from 8/9 in the lounge and then id do his last feed in the bedroom and put him down.

However he is now awake nearly all day and by 8 is ready to go down. So I have been putting him down at 9 (I thought this would help bring his bedtime earlier) but he is then in too much of a deep sleep to eat at 10, he only takes a bit of his feed and now wakes up earlier in the night. Am I doing the right thing putting him down ealier??? Should I keep him up when he is tired??? But I also feel bad waking him up to try and feed him, but if I dont he wakes up once or twice and we had got out of that. Is it best to work on the night feed phasing out first and keep him up later dosing on us and then bring his bed time earlier after that or should I try set his bed time earlier and do what ever night feeds are needed and then try working on them???

Im confused - any advice is appreciated.

Hi Zedwin

The short answer is, whatever works for you.

I always preferred my twins having a decent sleep overnight and a nap in the afternoon. As they got older and I went back to work it also meant that I got to spend time with them in the evening before they went to sleep. On the other hand, I'm a single parent, so possibly if I had wanted time with a partner after they were down I would have had different priorities. Most people hate the graveyard shift though.

It sounds like your little one is pretty good at settling into a routine. He is very young to be awake all day, but some babies are like that.

One word of warning though. You can work on your routine as hard as you like, but once it is settled you can count on a growth spurt when suddenly you are feeding twice as much again for a bit and the routine goes out the window.

Enjoy

Zedwin, don't feed your baby every 3/4 hours - it is way too much, honestly. Babies have little tummies and can only digest so much at a time. That's why they need to feed at night. Two months is really really early for a routine. It sounds like you have got fixated on getting him to sleep through - but not many babies do at this age.

If he is not sleeping during the day, then work on doing whatever you can to get him to nap. I used to walk my daughter for two hours a day because she would only sleep while I was actually pushing.

Don't keep him up later at night because if he is overtired then he will probably sleep worse. Concentrate on the daytime, then put him down at a sensible time (and when he is tired) in the evening, and then manage the nights as they come. Honestly, you can't control everything at this stage.

I would also talk to your health visitor - they are good on sensible routines and can be really supportive.

Sorry Zedwin - I thought you meant three-quarters of an hour but obviously you mean three -to -four hours! What a div. The rest of my advice is okay though!

I have 3 dc ranging from 4.5 to 5 months. I think it is too early for routine also, as growth spurts tend to knock out previous "habits". Give your little ds feeds when he tells you, he'll soon be too "lazy" and comfy in bed to wake up. Congratulations and don't worry about routine just yet, go with the flow, it is waaaay less stressful. I speak as a mum who panicked with dd and tried to get her to fit in to routines and who didn't enjoy her really as I was too busy looking at the clock

Thank you guys, advice is really appreciated, I think I am getting too stressed and need to relax a bit. I am going to drop the dream feed, let him sleep when he wants and deal with nights as they occur. I think you are right I really need to focus on the day time sleep as that is where he is really lacking which makes him past it as of 5 o clock.

Any tips on getting him to settle alone, I put him down when I know he is tired but he often cries, I dont agree with letting him cry for longer than a min so I always have to cuddle him to sleep.

The general advice is that you get them sleepy and then put them down. That's a joke if you have the sort of sensitive baby I had first time, but worked for my second (sort of). Sounds like you are already doing that and I expect you have tried stroking and shushing while he is in the cot. Swaddling can really help, I think - it makes them feel safe and cosy.

Have to say I mostly cuddled my babies to sleep - or rocked - or pushed them around in a pram. Nobody now advises leaving babies to cry until at least six months of age - and there is a book called 'The No-Cry Sleep Solution' by Elizabeth Pantley that is quite good if you want some practical help.

Can you give him a feed at 10/11pm when you go to bed without waking him up? That's what I do with my 4 month old - he has his last feed at 6.30pm, bed at 7pm and then I give him a bottle at about 10.30pm when I go to bed. Just lift him out of his cot without waking him and he drinks the bottle in his sleep.

At 2 months I was still rocking him to sleep, but now at 4 months I've started doing pick up/put down to help him settle on his own. I think 2 months is too young to expect them to self settle though.