3 year old behaviour gone downhill

[beccalanismum]

Hi my DD is 3.2 yrs and has always been challenging - very emotional, sensitive and strong willed (hour long tantrums occur). She has changed Nursery classes in the lat 2 months and started pre-school a month ago. All went well for the first few weeks but now her behaviour is very hard to deal with - anything sets off an emotional explosion and she is very demanding and controlling. Anyone else experiencing this - I am hoping she will settle down but this is very stressful and her little sister is the original child without fear so I am always chasing after her too. We have lots of issues re sharing too.

Need some moral support or a few days off... I am becoming exhausted as work is really hard too. Any discipline ideas gratefully recd.

Hello - just seen this. My DD is 3.4yo and we seemed to cruise thru the terrible twos quite wel, with just the odd hiccup, but recently she has begun throwing a tantrum at the drop of a hat. She has also started 5 sessions/wk at pre-school - up from 2/wk - and is obviously very tired as a result as she cannot nap as much as she used to. It is all becoming very tiring for her dad who looks after her during the day as it is all instruction, instruction, instruction. She won't play by herself & she dosn't really play WITH him either - just bosses him about. (We have both ended up colouring in with her dictating the pens to use....) When I come home, she won't let me out of her sight, meal times have turned into a battle field of messing about and bed times are just one big tantrum as she dosn't want me to leave the room - an hour of screaming last night.

I guess it is all to do with pre-school and will settle down, but how to deal with the tantrums?? Ignore until done and risk the neighbours calling the police? I find it very hard to ignore, but if I give in and stay - say at bedtime I will be there for hours and I don't want to set a precedent. It is a very fine line between giving in and senidng the message that to tantrum = getting what you want.

Dosn't help you much - sorry, but I can't believe that we are the only ones going through this at the mo. Dosn't stop me questioning my parenting abililties and feeling like a particularly crap mummy though.

Good to hear I am not alone and I feel for you -I find it hard to know what is a genuine frustration tantrum and what is manipulation (she can somethimes switch it on and off like a tap).

I do doubt my parenting ability though as none of our circle of 10 or so peers seems to be doing this. Tantrums are a challenge - my DD gets revved up to a point where she cant control herself within about 2 mins so my only solution is to cuddle her and talk her out of - does not always work though. Her trump card is making herself sick which happens when I put her in time out occasionally.

DD likes to direct us in a dictatorial way too - maybe trying to restablish some control in her routine.

We had a big problem at bedtime last year and did a gradual withdrawl method - sit on bed 5 mins - sit next to bed 5 mins and then go (and put DD back in bed as soon as she moves off - this worked after 2-3 days).

DH and myself are trying to de-stress a bit so we be calmer around DD.

May just be something that needs to settle down over time and with a consistent routine - DD was like this for about 3 months last year when her DS was born. Hope so

Thanks for posting and I will keep in touch

Help please

My 6 year old son is a problem. Ive just seen his teacher today who told me he is a big problem in the class. He hits and fights with others. He has seen the headmaster and been put in detention for a week. He has to sit at the front of the class and gets put at the front of lines just so the teacher can keep an eye on him. From nursery school i have had reports of these problems with him. I have taken him to a child behavioral doctor at 4 years and she did tests for a.d.h.d? She said he didnt have it, but all the signs are still there. He is a very affectionate little boy who likes historical subjects. He also has a little brother who he bullies and who is now at nursery school and this week his teacher pulled me to tell me he is also hitting other children in his class! I use time out and all the other techniques we have been recommended but i am at my whits end today!!

Please help with any suggestions.

I've got a very similar problem. My ds has always been very well behaved and everyone used to comment on how good he was. He started pre-school 4 weeks ago and his behaviour has changed. He is always overtired, stropping and attention-seeking which is really distressing for both of us. He is also doing things like pushing me that he has picked up from other children and I won't allow it. Has anyone got any advice? Will it settle down?

WOW!

I'm sorry to have to say this but I am so glad I logged on tonight.

I have been feeling pretty low over the last few weeks, with a 5 month old baby and a tantruming 3.4yo. i have convinced myself that I am the worst mother in the world and regularly end up playing slave to my ds.

He tantrums so bad that he cannot control himself do he ends up so angry shouting and screaming at me. I've tried everything, from laughing it off to placing him in his room to calm down. He has recently started pre-school too. What is it with 3 yo's???

IF anyone finds a good way of dealing with them please post the answer!!

Hi Spilla, I've found something that helps. Today, my PILS basically took over looking after my 5 month old while I spent the day with ds. We just went to the park, watched tv together, played toys together etc... but it was fantastic! It was so nice giving him all my attention and of course he responded really well to it. Is there anyone that can babysit for you?