Severe sleep disturbances aged 4.5

[MammyT]

My dd is 4.5 yo and has never had a great relationship with sleep.

The problem is that she goes through phases of waking up, crying incessantly and screaming for me. This can go on most the night and it's hard to say if she's even awake as she doesn't respond properly to questions and just cries. I've always thought she was having night tremors.. In a fit of desperation the other night, I shouted at her to stop crying; she stopped, covered her ears with her hands straightaway and for the first time I wondered if this was just a habit when she woke during the night. The next day she is fine but says she had a nightmare.

We have always had a fixed bedtime routine but she has never been a great sleeper, for instance from the ages of 6 mo - 18 mo she screamed her head off when put into bed leaving everyone completely baffled. She goes to bed at the same time every night. Her sibling has no such problems and bar starting school, her life is stable and uneventful.

I feel our next steps must be the doctor but my DH will disagree. Has anyone else had a situation like this?

Friend has had very similar problems with her 4yo DS. She is convinced that fish oil supplements have helped improve the situation.

Ragged - thanks for your resposne. She already takes a vitamin and Omega-3 supplement. Thanks.

Bump :) I'm desperate!

I do think this sounds like night terrors. It may well be that when you shouted at her it was at the point of her coming out of a terror anyway - hence the response. My dd2 suffered with these, as did her father. Dds terrors were awful to watch and sometimes reoccured frequently throughout the night. She would also be very vocal and very active - screaming, roaming around, climbing in wardrobes, doing headstands etc . I had many a sleepless night believe me! I found that it was better not to intervene - don't touch/talk (unless in danger) as it seems to prolong/aggrevate a terror. It is said that waking a child before a terror helps break the sleep cycle in which a terror occurs, but dd2s terrors were never at a pre-set time! I did notice dd2s terrors were more likely to occur when she was really tired or after a stimulating day.

You probably won't like my advice but for me there was only one option: to have dd2 in my bed. It seems to have worked. It may have been good timing (children can grow out of terrors) or maybe because as I am an active sleeper (move around/talk a lot) I inadvertently keep dd2 out of that certain phase of sleep. She does have restless nights & nightmares still and what I call mini-terrors (crying, shouting, thrashing around) but I'm there to put my arms around her and thankfully we haven't had a full-blown terror for the past year.

Is she on any medication?

Goingspare - no, no medication.

Kissingfrogs - your post is very reassuring. I myself suffered from tremors and still do to a much less extent (after each baby I would wake screaming that my dh was lying on her, when the baby was safely tucked up in her cot :) For this reason we didn't dare co-sleep with our babies though obviously not a problem now.

The pattern you describe is like my dd though hers isn't every night either but seems to strike in the first half of her night. Last night it was a dream free night; the only difference was that she wasn't at school and we've had her in bed a half hour early on the two previous nights. She was exhausted half the day though.

Thanks again for your post.. Can I ask what age is your dd?

My dd2 is now 5. Her terrors started around 2ish and were worst at around age 3-4. I've read that there's usually a history of sleep disturbances in families which certainly rings true in mine. My father was a prolific sleepwalker. Dds father would often "wake" in the night and get agitated, apparently listening for danger & frantically telling everyone to get undercover & be quiet (he never remembered this).
I also have a relative that is currently dealing with a toddler with bad night terrors. Hers are so loud that it keeps their neighbours awake.

I do believe that plenty of rest and not too much stimulation helps. Night terrors are not uncommon and they are just one of those things you have to bear with and wait until they gradually become less frequent and hopefully disappear altogether.

Hi
I realise I am very late to this thread, but I wondered if you were still having problems with this, or if you managed to find any solutions?
My daughter is now 4.5 and what you write in your initial post is strikingly similar to our situation. Dd has always had been a bad sleeper, with some decent phases and plenty of terrible phases, but the situation is getting worse, and we just don't know what to do, short of, as kissingfrogs suggested, letting her sleep in with one of us (but we just can't all 3 sleep in the same bed, so I don't really feel this is a viable solution). Our son (1.5yo) has no such issues (apart from getting woken up by his sister most evenings).
For a long time we have been thinking it was night terrors, as she had a relatively long good phase between aged 3 and 3.5, then the classic night terrors pattern kicked in, but now she seems to be waking every 20-30mins again from bedtime onwards, just crying for no reason, but fairly responsive and able to talk back, which is not her night terrors behaviour, and I too wonder if this is just learned behaviour - as though she has forgotten how to get herself back to sleep without crying and one of us calming her down.
Any advice MUCH appreciated.
thanks