What now? At my wit's end with DS2

[Ormirian]

He seems to be getting worse and worse. Unable to concentrate, listen to a word that is said to him, sit still, keep quiet. It's like living with Taz.

Last night he had a row with DD. I allowed them to watch a DVD in my bed - DD wanted to and it was a little reward for her report. So DS2 watched too. After about 30 mins there was the most almighty yelling from upstairs. DS was jumping on the bed and getting in DD's way. DD was doing to hw too and he was messing that up. I went in and intervened. Quiet. Got in the bath. Only to be hauled out again by screaming and shouting. DD was in floods of tears, attempting to bite DS's arm. He thumped her back really hard and they were both screaming at each other :"I hate hate, I hate him, I hate him!" at the top of her voice. I seperated them and went with DD into her room - calmed her, chatted for a bit and got her settled. Went back to DS. Calmed him down.

Of course they both had their stories to tell - he started it, she started it

Problem is, DS winds everyone up. DD is the calmest, most considerate girl, and it takes a lot to get her in such a state.

At the parent's evening there was a boy that spends some time at DH's school (special school for pupils with behavioural probs). Some of his tics and behaviours - constantly fidgetting, eyes flicking everywhere, plucking at his sleeves/trousers all the time - are familiar from DS2. But only at home. Never in school. In school he is quiet, very quiet, terrified of breaking the rules, behind his targets for most subjects but well-behaved.

School have assessed him as having no major problems. He is getting a lot of one-to-one sessions for him maths and phonics and is in a group to help him build relationships better. But he doesn't do it in school. Just at home.

He's on omega 3 and we are trying to get him to sleep earlier - almost impossible as he doesn't sleep until 10pm most nights. he just can't switch off.

It feels as if DS#'1 behaviour is tearing the family apart. We spend so much time dealing with him. The other 2 don't get enough of our time and attention.

I know I've been through all this on here before (several times) and I know you've all given me advice but atm I don't know what to do. Just was to vent a bit I think.

?

Re sleep-can a gp/paed suggest melatonin-it's harmless and works wonderfully for asd/adhd kids who can't settle/sleep.

Is xmas stuff messing with his head at school-my ds1 is letting that all out at home at the moment.

I really really feel for you. I had to send my neighbour's child home yesterday(she just pops over all the time) because she'd been mean to ds1 along with dd, but I know it's as much to do with how in their faces ds1 is . Normal occasions can turn into nightmares and I do think this is a shitty time of year because they're not getting exercise/all cooped up with each other.

I have 3 and I think it's a hard number. I feel such guilt about ds2 even though ds1 finds life much harder. I think ds2 has low self esteem because he never comes first with us. Dd is more robust, but willeventually explode like your dd.

At the moment we are finding doing stuff all together is the only thing. Stuff the washing up/homework and get on the trampoline in the dark. I think other dc need to see us having fun with ds1 as much as ds1 does-they need to feel positive about him.

Hope you have a better evening.

ds1 has as by the way!

Thanks defineme. Melantonin sounds a good idea. Haven't actually been to the GP with DS - I guess it might be a good idea.

Problem is having fun with DS2 often ends up with him being the centre of attention as much as anything else. We tend to get over it by seperating him from the other 2 - but then it is as if he is getting more attention.

Christmas doesn't help, that's for sure,