2 and half year old boy

[justabitstressed]

Hi

I hope someone can help me understand what is going on with my son

When I collect him in the evenings he no longer wants to come with me.

I split from my partner over a year and a half ago and we share the time with our son pretty well. I have him Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, I drop him off at his nursery in the mornings and collect him in the evening after work from his mothers. Every second weekend I collect him on the Saturday morning and then back to his mothers on Sunday, late afternoon/evening

He is at nursery from 8.30 till 1.30 and is then with his mother till I collect him at 6pm. Once we get home we have out tea then it's either a bath then some stories before bed or a little bit of fun if no bath needed then ready for bed. I have a very good routine setup for him but over the last month or so he has been getting less and less inclined to come with me when I collect him from his mothers. Once he is in the car and we are back to my house he is completely fine, happy and content so I know that he is happy being in my company. We have more fun at weekends as we have more time to actually do fun things.

I have a new partner who I introduced him to at the beginning of the year and they get along very well. She is very caring and will do anything to keep him happy and feeling loved but I just can't understand why this has happened all of a sudden.

He is now at the point of becoming so upset of leaving his mother that it upsets her and I feel like I have done something to cause this behaviour but just can't think what.

I feel like I am the one who is upsetting him, in his mind I?m taking him away from his mum but just fail to understand what I have possibly done wrong.

He was like this when I had to drop him back to his mothers on the Sundays where he would say he did not want to go to mummy?s but when he gets back there and settled his is fine.

I'd just like to hear if anyone has an idea of what can be done to make his life a bit less stressed when I collect him.

Thanks for any advice

Hi, my son is a similar age and seems to have got clingy again. I think it's probably just another separation anxiety wave and developmentally perfectly normal. if he is fine when he actually gets to your house I wouldn't worry. Maybe make a point of making it really clear whats going on, Ie when he'll be going back to his mum's, what she'll be doing when he gets home, what you're going to do together at your house etc.

Also my son seems to have got very protective as well so it may all be related. He may be worried how his mum manages without him!

Hi. My daughter is 2.5. She's looked after 3 days a week by my mother in law whilst I work. When I go to pick her up she usually ignores me (doesnt say hello or anything),starts acting up (refusing to put her shoes on), employs delay tactics (running into a different room to 'look' for something and generally takes ages to leave. Sometimes she'll then sit in her car seat giving me daggers. I employ lots of distracting conversation - asking about her day, what does she want for dinner, can she see the moon out of the window etc etc. Seems to help a bit! Once we're home she's usually fine and shes generally very affectionate with me.

My thoughts are that at that age they just dont like the transition from one thing to another. It may not actually be anything to do with you or your new partner so I'd try not to worry too much. It may help if your ex partner gets him in the mindset of going with you before you arrive e.g. 'why dont you take [favourite toy] to daddys house'.