ds 18 month prefers his dad to me :(

[Sariah]

Hi I am married with ds17, sd16, sd14, dd nearly 3 and ds18 months.

I work 4 days a week and dh works 4 days a week. dd and ds are in minder for 3 days and we each spend a week day minding them and weekends together.

I didn't bond as well with ds as much as I did with dd but by bond with dd was very very strong from the minute I found out I was pregnant with her.

I blame mirena coil for some of this as I got quite down with it but had it removed in May.

For the last few months when I arrive home in the evening ds screams and clings onto dh and won't come to me. Also when dh is there he will not look at me or talk to me.

When dh is not around he clings to me.

It is starting to get me down and I am blaming the fact that I didn't have as strong as bond with him, and that maybe he picked up on this. Also the fact that I work outside the home is making me feel guilty.

has anyone any experience/advice of what I can do

Thanks

I agree with MrsTedHughes.
I'm going through something a bit similar with dc1 who seems to see herself as dh's child and dc2 as my child (she is 5 and I think it's to do with dc2 coming along and her feeling replaced, so it's a bit different from your story). But, the only thing we can do is be there for them and love them.
In your mind, decide that you did bond well with him - just differently from how you bonded with dd but each child is individual and so of course things will be different.
Give him undivided attention whenever you can (it's really hard to find a minute or two - I know!) and maybe you could even arrange a "date" with him? Once I got our childminder to have dc2 an hour later so that she looked after dc2 while I picked up dc1 from nursery and had an hour at the playground with her - just me and her. Sometimes these things work and sometimes they don't (child doesn't want it at that moment) but that time, it just worked. I made a big effort to play her games as she wanted and we had a wonderful hour - I even enjoyed balancing along bars for the first time in years!
I keep meaning to do it again but somehow can never organise it... but I WILL do it again soon because it was important. And, as I say, you can never tell if it's going to be the right thing for the child at that moment so you have to keep trying!
Best of luck

Thanks for your replies.

Tbh most of the time I just get on with it and ignore it and eventually he will come over to me. Its just when I have had a bad day with work and the other kids that this just seems like another way in which I am failing as a mother.

I find because he is like this it is much easier to spend time with dd as she is openly affectionate with me and wants to be around me. He is fine when dh is not around but it means that any time he is I am relegated.

I just feel I should be doing something about it and that it is something I am doing that is causing it.