Why isn't he smiling at me?

[JazzieJeff]

My DS is almost 7 weeks. He has shown no signs of a smile yet. I'm not entirely surprised, because I may be the worlds worst parent, so smiling at me probably isn't top of his to do list.

But God I'm finding this so bloody hard and all I need is for him to show me I'm doing it right for him. All I need is for him to recognise me in some way, because I am really REALLY struggling now.

If you don't already, you could try a baby club, parent and baby group or similar, to meet other parents - it's good for you and for your baby to meet others. You sound as if you feel guilty or like you're not doing a good job, but the truth is, anyone who feels like this is the best parent in the world. People who don't care whether they are good parents or not are the ones who are not doing such a good job. I felt terrible the first few weeks, physically and emotionally. I was convinced there was something wrong with our baby or with me; first that I didn't have enough milk (not true) then that it was coming out too fast for her, (also not true) or that I was just a rubbish Mum as I couldn't tell what my baby wanted when she cried whilst feeding(this is normal, they don't come with a manual), but our baby is actually a chilled out one too, she suffers a bit of wind but it took us a while to realise what it was that was bothering her. It's partly hormone related, partly lack of sleep and partly that having a helpless baby who depends on you for everything makes you feel panicky and ill prepared, no matter how many books you're read - nothing really prepares you, but it really does get better. Ours is 12 weeks now and I feel as if I've had her all my life - in the best way. I can't imagine life without her now. Talk to as many other parents as you can, talk to your HV or midwife and talk to friends and family. It's normal to feel down or isolated the first few weeks, so it's not necessarily PND, but it's best to be proactive, find out by seeing your HV or GP and tackle it straight away if it is.