My 6 year old keeps wetting his pants. Driving me nuts AAAGHHHHHHHH

[Eaney]

OK, he has taken to wetting his pants. He needs constant reminding to go to the toilet and when he is at school he doesn't go at all. He tries to hold it in all day but he leaks throughout the day. If I don't remind him to go when we get home from school he would not go until bedtime, with prompting.

We had a problem with him holding in his poo and a star chart worked well here. The poo holding was for a different reason (he used to suffer from constipation and was afraid to go due to pain). He tells me that he doesn't wee in the toilet because he has more fun playing with his friends or doing anything else. I have introduced a money jar for a few issues but his is probably the main one and so far he is quite nonchalant about the loss of the money.

Anyone any ideas? When he was in reception he ws reminded to use the toilet by the teacher but now he has to rely on his own initiative. Idon't think he has used te toilet once in the school in the last 3 weeks.

Should I talk to his teacher?

Thanks

Anyone any advise?

no advice Im afraid - but lots of sympathy. We are dealing with our 5y/os refusal to sit on the toilet at the moment and it is so frustrating. I'd be inclined to talk to his teacher.

I have 2 6yo boys myself, have never had this problem but can see how he could forget, they are easily distracted by more interesting things.
In your position I would get the teacher to remind him, and not let him out to play until he has been.

My sister was the same when she was his age - she would get engrossed in playing, and hang on and hang on until it was too late ... then she'd not bother going to the toilet and getting changed, she'd just carry on playing. It wasn't that she forgot - she knew she needed to go, but preferred to stay out playing.

As it sounds as if he's making a conscious decision not to go, would a reward system like the pasta jar be any use? If I remember rightly, you start off with 10 pieces of pasta in a jar, and for each time he succeeds he gets another one, and each time he pees himself he has one taken away, and he has to end the week with more than he started with - then he gets a reward. Perhaps the loss of a reward would be more tangible to him than the loss of money, I don't know.

I'd certainly think it was worth having a chat with his teacher, and asking if she can make sure he is reminded to go at break times, if not at other times as well.

Thanks for the pasta jar idea. The money jar is similar except I have not given him anything for a success (not that there has been any). WHen we did the star chart with rewards it worked so perhaps you are right rewards may be more effective than money. As I have just started the money jar I best give it a couple of weeks before trying something else.

How and when did your sister stop?

As far as I remember she just grew out of it, but it took about a year before she did.

WWB, just wanted to tell you that we altered the money jar s that he could earn coins back if he used the toilet. For some reason I hadn't realised what I was doing wrong until you described the pasta jar more fully to me.

Anyway came home from school yesterday with dry pants and had used the toilet. THANKS!!!

That's fantastic! Fingers crossed that it continues.