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Tantrum phase - HELP

1 reply

Sal1105 · 25/11/2010 09:23

God, I'm cracking up! My 3.5 DS is going through a terrible tantrum phase and I can't work out what is causing it. I know they're from frustration and from not getting what he wants and generally they're triggered by his little brother (26 mnths) getting something he wants - this morning before nursery I warned him that DS2 was going int he front of the pushchair and that he could go in the front on the way home later. 30 minute tantrum which my DH dealt with while I took DS2 to nursery.

He has been ill with two colds in succession, one leaving a viral cough. All goint away and he's practically better. In the middle of the two colds, we took his dummy away and he was fine (bit of bribery involved) and it went well. Then he got ill again and I nearly cracked and gave it back but I didn't give in and again, he's been fine. Slept very well last night (after a 30 minute tantrum about not taking his vest off). The thing is, he's having 2 of these tantrum a day and I end up screaming at him, which I know doesn't help but I'm like a coiled spring and they often happen when I'm at my most vulnerable as well, i.e. end of the day. Any suggestions as to why he's going through this phase or what I can do about it. We have a star chart for good behaviour etc which is working well..... it's so upsetting and he's always really sorry after which breaks my heart......

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
wubblybubbly · 25/11/2010 13:55

DS has just turned 4 and has really only started on the tantrums, he always used to do as he was told!

I think the key with us is it happens when he's tired, could that be the case with your DS? If he's been ill he could just be a bit low on energy, it does seem to make them prone to grumpiness/not listening.

We've often had with problems with DS at bath time about him not taking his clothes off or messing about. It is really frustrating but I find what works for us is, if he refuses to co-operate, I just say 'okay DS, I'm going to count to 3 and if you don't take off your vest/do X,Y,Z then it's no bath tonight/no story time tonight'.

What's really important (and sometimes hard) is when he does do as he's asked is to say thank you and make it all light and fun again. I do struggle with this sometimes when he's been playing me up and I'm tired too, but I know I have to do it, otherwise I just prolong the bad feeling and behaviour.

I'm sure someone else will be along with some better advice soon.

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