DD doesn't like dad

[IguanoMum]

DD only wants to be with me, and most times refuses to look at, to say 'Hi', or to give a kiss to her dad. She doesn't want to be with him, never talks about him, and if it were for her, I guess he wouldn't even be there. He's a great guy, laughs it off and tries not to give it too much importance. In the end, he wins her with jokes and stories... but after a few hours, or when she wakes up, it's all the same again!

I think it's very rude of her and feel sorry for him, but I don't want to tell her off for not showing love to her dad, or make her 'be nice' and pretend. On the other hand, she's old enough to understand now that this behaviour causes pain.

Advice, anyone?

How old is she?

3 years and 2 months

How old is she? Do they spend time alone doing things?

Oh, she's three.

No, you're wrong. She's not old enough to realise her behavior is hurtful at all, and won't be for a while yet.

On the up side, in two years time she's going to have a crush ten feet wide on her daddy.

Oh ds is a few months older and is the same. It is just a stage and will pass but encourage them to do things together to bond as it will help.

I used to think it was a phase, but she's been like this since she was a baby!

They don't spend as much time together as we do (I stay at home, he goes out to work). I try to encourage them to do things together, but she clings to my leg and doesn't want to leave, starts crying... you get the picture!

And about being able to realize...she is really intelligent and mature. At what age do children start empathising?

So what do you think I should do, just nothing?

Intelligence and maturity does not indicate empathy. I don't think you should do NOTHING - I think you should go out on your own for several hours every weekend and leave him to make pink fairy cakes with her. She'll love him for at least that time period.

Other than that, you cannot force a child to fake affection for someone. I think that's not a good idea. A) it won't work and B) do we really want to give the message to little girls that if we don't like a man, we pretend to and that makes it all better?

I have had this exact same problem, and I posted about it too. I was advised to ignore, ignore, ignore. My DD is 4 now (nearly 5) and it's not nearly so bad. I am still the favourite parent - and I have no idea why! - and I would like her to be more affectionate towards her daddy, but forcing it was never going to work.

I did and still do make it clear that I am not happy when she is 'rude' to DH though.

I understand exactly how you feel, but honestly, it gets better. Your DD is still very young.

I do feel for you and have been through this. However, things change. I dealt with it by turns to take to bed and not giving in to 'want mummy' constantly. DD1 always wanted dad and now at 4 always wants me. DD2 always was my girl and now doesn't want to know at the moment. She is angry because I have to go to work and study constantly. Things will change.
He is doing the right thing by showing no reaction. They are very fickle

I'm writing down... pink fairy cakes... go out more... will try ;-) (it would be nice to have a social life for a change).

Nyx, fingers crossed!!!