5 yo and still in nappy pants at night -help!

[anduma]

Ds is 5 and every morning he asks hopefully "are my pants dry"? and every morning they weigh a ton and so the answer is "no darling". He is so disappointed with himself.

So how can I get him to stop wetting himself?

He often gets up after he has wet himself and takes them off and gets back to bed so he is semi aware.

HELP!!!

My friend had a similar problem, GP told her to come back when her DS was 8 as is still very common at this age, so nothing to seriously worry about. All the usual stuff about limiting fluid intake for an hour or two before bed. If he is aware that he is wet some of the time, sounds like he is heading in the right direction.

Not really any help but wanted to let you know that at this age it is not a problem

Hi, my DS was like this, he was dry during the day by his second birthday but it took until he was five and a half before he was dry at night.

Advice I was given at the time was to make sure he drinks plenty during the day as experiencing the sensation of a full bladder is important to help him recognise it.
We also had a 'dry night' chart and a small reward if he had two, three or later on a weeks worth of dry nights - although obviously you need one dry night to start with to praise praise praise!

I was really worried about this at the time but at 5 1/2 my son just grew out of it. he's 10 now and we never had a problem after he cracked it.

only problem in fact was weaning him off the rewards because at 5, he knew exactly how to wind us round his little finger!

My doctor specifically told me not to reward for dry nights - because it is effectively punishing for wet nights. If your son wants to be dry, then he really can't help weeing at night. It's upsetting for him, but you just have to wait. I'm still waiting, and my DD is now seven.

Its more common than you would imagine - try not to stress - if he's still doing it at 8 then you will probably get a referral.

My friends DS is nearly 10 and only just dry at night. It never stopped him going on sleepovers / cub camp etc - he just learnt to be discreet

Rewards for dry nights is just setting htem up to be disappointed. It is hormonal, apparently. When the bladder gets to s certain size, i think? In fact, when you go to an enuresis clinic they tell you NOT to limit drinks at night - giving them loads of fluid helps stretch the bladder. They honestly cant help it.

Agree with jeee, you are punishing for wet nights and that can only be detrimental surely????
I take my ds2 to the loo about midnight and he stays there until he has a wee.
It may sound cruel, but HV and GP both recommended with ds1 who had a wet night every night at aged 6, but had been dry in the day since 2.
Think its the physicality getting them up and out of bed, and 'walking' them to the loo, then only letting them leave when they have been so to speak.
(I hold his hand and walk him to the bathroom).
Both boys dry and no accidents at all. Ds2 very proud when he wakes up in the morning and goes straight away, and announces all dry mummy!

We've always had night time issues with our DS even though he was dry in the day just after his third birthday. He's now 8.5 and is dry probably four nights out of seven. We didn't get any sort of referral for outside help until well after his 7th birthday. It's worth making an appointment with the school nurse though, as she will give you some tips to help deal with it. the main thing for us has been making sure that DS drinks enough during the day to strengthen and increase the capacity of his bladder, and limiting the amount he drinks after teatime. Blackcurrant drinks of any kind are a no no as well as it acts as a diuretic.

loubedoo, our eneurisis consultant did not recommend waking them for a wee as this prevents them learning the messages from the brain that the bladder is full.

Our DS was also dry if we took him for a wee before we went to bed, and it took us a lot of agonising to stop this as advised, as no parent wants their child to be wet in the morning. It's been tough, but we are seeing the long term benefits of it now.

Just wanted to let you know what my friend was told by GP when she had this with her DS. Apparently we all develop an increased level of an anti-diuretic (can't spell!) hormone as we grow, and some boys' levels don't increase enough until they are 7 or 8. It's a physical thing and there's nothing to worry about. Her DS is now 7 and is dry at night, but this has only happened in the last few months.

Don't worry - its within normal parameters at this age.

Make sure he drinks lots in the day (somewhere around 1.5 litres) but not an hour or two before bed (well, this is what our enuresis nurse said ). This may entail enlisting the teacher's cooperation in encouraging him to drink in schooltime.

If he's 'semi aware' he may be ready to try this: very last thing at night say something like 'If I want to do a wee, I will wake up and use the lav-or-tree'

Hi
I am glad I have found this thread as have been worrying about my oldest ds(nearly 8). He has never been fully dry at night-wet bed about 4 night out of 7. Have tried limiting drinks after tea-time,making him go to loo before bedtime etc to no avail. Have now resorted to pyjama pants(when can persuade him to wear them!).
My dd is 4 and has been dry since 2 and a half. So do I need to take ds to doctors(who btw is very unsympathetic?).
ps-maybe tmi but I was a bedwetter up until 9

Dd2 is 5 and still berry wet at night and in nappies despite being dry in the day since soon after her third bday. Dd1 on the other hand was dry day and night by 3 so all children are different. Being dry at night depends on the maturity of a complicated hormone cycle in the brain. Until this has developed sufficiently, it doesn't matter how hard you are your son tries, he cannot be dry at night. All of the good advice other posters have given will help with bladder training but it won't all click into place until his hormone cycle has developed. Once children get older and if there is a social impact (school trips, Brownie/cub camps etc) the GP can prescribe a nasal spray to help mature the hormone cycle, which is very effective. I can understand how disappointed your ds gets. Dd2 won't sleep at her cousins, friends etc because she still needs nappies unlike her older sister (6).

I think you need to explain to your ds about the special chemicals that will grow inside his body when he gets older that will help him stop weeing in the night and explain that some children grow them earlier than others just like some children get teeth earlier than others/lose teeth earlier than others.

If, as you say, he is disappointed then perhaps he feels he is failing in some way and sooner or later he may get upset about his lack of dry pants. I used the explanation above to help my ds see that he was not doing anything wrong, his body just couldn't do it yet but just like growing teeth/losing teeth it would just happen over time so there was no point worrying about it.

ds was 6 1/2 before he was reliably dry at night and still has the odd accident twice a year or so.

You could try leaving his pull up off.

It may be that in his sleepy state he needs a wee and subconsciously thinks "oh I've got my pull up on so no need to get up to the loo".

That fact that he often wakes after weeing shows that he has a fair level of arousability, so he may well wake when he needs a wee. If he has no nappy on he may start to wee and wake himself and then use the loo.

Other top tips:

Plenty to drink during the day, tailing off after dinner. No drinks for an hour before bed.

Double voiding - at bedtime do toilet, teeth, toilet to ensure the bladder is fully empty.

Ensure access to the loo - door open, dim light on, PJ bottoms off, so that if he needs a wee on waking he can go in a hurry.

Layer the bed so that if he does make a little wet patch you don't have to strip the whole bed. Waterproof mattress cover, sheet, thick towel, another sheet. Then if he starts to wee you only need to strip back the top sheet and towel.

Pink - yes, at 8 you should ask for referral to enuresis clinic. If the GP won't do it the HV might (that's who did our referral, not because our GP wouldn't but just who I was asking for advice). But frankly if I had a GP who was unsympathetic on this sort of thing I'd find another one!

pink4ever don't blush, enuresis is very common and runs in families - most bedwetters have a parent that wet until older!

You don't have to see the GP, your school nurse may well be able to refer your DS to a nocturnal enuresis clinic. We used to see children from 8, but would accept referrals from 7.5 as we had a waiting list.

Thanks everyone. I hadn't come across a single other kid still in night pants and I am embarassed for my DS to mention it to other mums in the playground. So very reassuring to know he is not alone. So I guess we'll just persevere!

anduma there may well be other children who are not yet dry at night, along with having a bedtime dummy and a bedtime bottle etc this is something you would not necessarily know! Hope you get it sorted.

Hi there, my 5 yr old girl was dry through the night until her baby sister came along at the end of January this year. She's back in pull ups doesn't like it at all but loves it when she gets up and is dry. Very occasionally she gets up in the early hours of the morning to go to the loo. I do not restrict fluid intake before bed but I do restrict her juice as apparently the malic acid in apple juice can irritate the bladder and be a contributing factor. Incidentally I'm a Bowen therapist and treated a 6yr old for bedwetting last year. Her parents were over the moon with the results however I do think in her case it was a hormonal issue that may have been resolving itself (as that's a common age for resolution). In my own daughters case I think it's a mixture of emotional and hormonal. I just give her lots of reassurance and sometimes lift her at night if I remember (she won't let me use Bowen on her!)

My oldest dd was nearly 7 when she became dry at night.

Don't worry, he'll get there eventually.

entirely normal until 7 or 8. lots of kid still take longer than that. i bet 50% of the kids in his class are in pull-ups.

dd1 was dry at about 8 (we used an enuresis alarm as meds didn't work) ds1 still isn't dry (he's 9 in jan) and dd2 was dry day and night at 2. lol.

you get what you get, and they are dry when they are ready.