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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Can you stop children interrupting.

20 replies

TwinSetAndPearls · 22/09/2005 00:03

I cannot have a conversation without dd interupting or climbing all over me, she has just turned 4 and I thought it would have stopped by now. Am I expecting too much?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

colditz · 22/09/2005 00:07

How about...

"I am speaking to X now, and I can't listen to you properly. When I have finished, come and speak to me, and I can listen properly then, but I am going to finish speaking to X first."

Then completely ignore al attempts to interrupt?

colditz · 22/09/2005 00:07

I don't have a child that age though, so take me with a hefty pinch of salt

ScummyMummy · 22/09/2005 00:08

probably... Learning this properly seems very much an ongoing process I'm afraid. I still have to tell mine to listen for a pause before butting in. They're 6.

Cadmum · 22/09/2005 00:11

I have taught my children to place their hand on my shoulder (forearem should I happen to be standing) if I am having a conversation and they would like my attention. (They used to repeat ?excuse me, mummy? endlessly.) As soon as there is a natural pause in the conversation I will turn to the child with the hand on my shoulder and tell them they may speak because they have my undivided attention.

I also ignore all attempts to interrupt. HTH...

Cadmum · 22/09/2005 00:12

Mine are 8, 6, and 3. The success with the 3 year year old may be down to having positive examples to follow...

Original poster

TwinSetAndPearls · 22/09/2005 00:15

I have tried the "I am just talking to... and in a moment I will talk to you..." approach sometimes it works but more often it doesn't.

I try to ignore her interruting but it isn't easy when she is climbing all over me. She has stopped turning my face at least.

Se does it a lot when dp and I are talking and it infuriates him and today at a dance class I was trying to talk to another mum and dd jeust kept interupting or climbing over me, at one point she even climbed over the other mum.

the thing is she just doesn't stop talking from the moment she gets up to the moment she goes to sleep - makes my head spin some days.

OP posts:

Skribble · 22/09/2005 00:15

At four years i would try to get them to wait till the end of a sentence bit much to expect them to wait for a conversation to finish, the way I talk it would be hours before they could speak . I usualy just say hold on a wee minute, then turn and ask what is it? when finished that sentence. I like the hand on my arm method, I may impliment that as mine are a bit older aand tend to hollar MUMMY from the other end of the house.

Original poster

TwinSetAndPearls · 22/09/2005 00:15

I will try the hand on my arm method.

OP posts:

Original poster

TwinSetAndPearls · 22/09/2005 00:17

She never wants anything either she just seems to want to interrupt my conversation as if to say "hey that's my Mummy you are talking to!"

OP posts:

Skribble · 22/09/2005 00:23

I think whatever method you go for its important for the child to know you will give them a chance to speak. I have friends who will try to ignore them for ages and wonder why they keep trying constantly. Maybe they think I am wrong to stop talking to them to listen to DD telling me so and so has the same socks as her, but i find if they get to say their bit they will let me carry on.

bobbybob · 22/09/2005 00:25

I want to teach my mother the hand on arm method - she has this habit of screaming down the house like a fish wife - now ds has perfected it!

Tortington · 22/09/2005 00:31

its a two way process they have to know you have noticed them - so a look or a wink or a " with you in a minute" will do when they have said "mum"

however if they continue this would be ride and i would say" i am speaking do not be so rude i will be with you when i am finished thank you"

Original poster

TwinSetAndPearls · 22/09/2005 00:35

THis afternoon, I did stop my converstaion several times to listen to her and then said "I have listened to you now and we have had all day to chat so can you just let mummy finish talking to.."

So she was aware that I had noticed her... maybe as SM said it just takes time.

OP posts:

Jenny1973 · 22/09/2005 00:55

Like all things these days-kids are different!
I just wasnt allowed to interupt if my mum was talking-I am 32. I have an 11 yr old sister, she constantly interupts when in converstion on phone or in public-what ever! She even kisses & mauls you when you are talking-which you find hard to say anything because they are being affectionate!
But I do find it infuriating when you cant have a converstion without interuption.
It helps when Dh is at home-as he says " your mum is on the phone" That saves me from getting frustrated.

Jenny1973 · 22/09/2005 00:58

Have you got a cordless phone? They are GR8. You can just walk away, that way they are getting no attention at all, cos thats wat it all boils down to, attention!!! Not on them!!! Once you give in, you have made the 1st rod for your back, they will expect the same attention everytime.
Unless the situation is important of course, then thats different.

trinityrocks · 22/09/2005 10:55

I know how you feel twinset, my 5 yr dd1 NEVER stops taling. I used to try and find her pause or mute button but I have accepted now...............she really doesn't have one

I think I'll try the habd on the arm thing

Stilltrue · 22/09/2005 17:45

Ooooh, this is one of my parenting bugbears! I'm afraid my nearly 7yo dd still does this, but only sometimes, and not to an extreme degree. Hand on arm, a pointed finger, a nod; anything that lets them know 1. they are not being ignored, but 2.you are currently talking to x and will attend to them very soon.
I feel very irritated with some parents, including some in our family who seem to see no reason whatsoever not immediately to break off talking to you in order to deal with some banal interruption from a child old enough to know better - and I don't mean a 4 year old because it is definitely a social skill to be learned over time. I have one dear friend who is great fun and who usually has great manners for want of a better word. However she lets her TWELVE year old son butt in to our conversations again and again . I also used to be around a nine year old friend (they've moved now) of my ds2 who would not only interrupt her mother or me, but with her mother she would tug and tug her arm and whisper to her at great length, thus excluding everyone else! Sadly mum thought this charming and would hang on patiently to every little sibilant hiss issuing from her offspring's mouth.
I'll stop ranting now. There are bigger irritants after all.

IlanaK · 22/09/2005 17:51

We say to my four year old that he has to "take turns" with talking. If he interupts, I remind him that it is not his turn at the moment. If he waits, then we make a big deal out of how good he is for waiting. SOmetime, he will spontaneously wait, though he will often complain that our turn is taking too long

Stilltrue · 22/09/2005 17:53

Ilanak, that's sweet! He obviously gets the idea.

Miaou · 22/09/2005 18:08

TSAP, along with cadmum's hand on arm approach, how about if she climbs on you when you are talking, put her down on the floor without talking to her or making eye contact - it's just her way of "upping" the interruption in order to get your attention. But let her know beforehand that that is what you will do and that it is unacceptable to try and interrupt you in that way.

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