Rising 4 yr old driving me insane

[arkboy]

My DS has started school. The first half term seemingly went ok. After half term he has started really challenging behaviour. Or perhaps it is normal.

The main problem is that he seems to be completely oblivious to any instruction that I give him... eg.. time for supper, time for bed - and goes off into for want of better words "la la Land". Just skipping about ignoring me. I get desperate. Shout and then I stomp out. DH is away three nights. So it is just me and him.

When we visit in laws he simply attention seeks on a big scale. I try and impress on in laws that the try and ignore him, make him part of the pack... etc.

When he is not in la la land, he is a delight, bright, coherent and kind.

On top of all this behaviour at home he has started to kick and spit at school. We have seen the Head and this is being managed. He can't cope at a particularly busy play time.

Please any help much appreciated. I just feel as thought I have lost the plot and desperate.

yes, we have the same problem with our ds age 4, same situation of starting school, only he comes home agressive and and overly hyper. he has also been spitting and punching, being very cheeky and lots of back chat. i try to remain calm, but its hard, and i know hes a kind loving boy. it really upsets meespecially when he starts taunting ds2 age 3. i think because they are the youngest in the school, they get a hard time, get baby'd by the bigger kids.
ive talked to aanyone who will listen and they all say the same thing, it gets better by the summer!! fingers crossed!!

Oh thanks mumma...
This morning jumping around on my bed, generally 'being annoying''attention seeking' 'incoherent babble' etc then turning the hair dryer on and off.

I closed the bathroom door to him and then I having decided to go along the line of keeping myself sane and cool - went downstairs ignoring him.

Started eating my breakfast and he buzzed in having got changed (except socks) himself. I praised him just keeping things calm.

Think this may be a good tack. If he was one of five - he would be ignored.. and would have to just get on with things.
hmm

arkboy
My 4 yr old is just the same, started school Sept, and turned inot a different boy.
Agressive and moody with his younger brothers, who have spent all day missing him, which always end up in tears from all of us.
is off with the fairies all the time and selective hearing is getting worse.

One step i have taken is to majorly reduce his sugar intake. he loves Jam sandwiches and wants them in his lunchbox daily. I have now stopped sending them and anything else sugary, plus given him an oat based cereal rather than his usual cheerios for breakfast and its slowly working.

As mummaxmas says, everyone i have spoken to as well are going through this rebellion.

Its so hard to remember, when we're in the middle of this chaos, that they're only 4, and out of the whole family they have had the biggest change in their lives, not us.

I think keeping yourself calmer and praising the good, and i'm going to do my best from now on to join you.
I feel like i'm shouting all the time, and it makes no difference anyway.

Hope things improve for you.

yes diddle is right;as a teacher with 4 yr olds a great deal is expected of them in school nowadays, esp. the boys find it v hard to cope. So it's best to let them chill at home.

Oh thank you diddle and ppeatfruit for your kind words and thoughts too. It is great that you can "join me" hurrah - bring it on! That has bolstered me. Thanks :)

The school have given him a mentor in Yr 6 who reads him stories at playtime which he enjoys and gives him time to rest. I went to school to help today to help with reading and saw him playing with his girl friends, well, if boistrously. (Does that come from the word 'boy' (??!!))

The teacher who has been fantastically supportive, has said that there haven't been any problems .... so far. And since Monday, the day I hit the keyboard, things are improving a lot. Sugar is not a factor, though interesting. He has always had a good appetite and likes his lunches. As I say, last week on a couple of days he woke before 6 - so when big play time started at school, he lost it. One of his friends didn't want to play with him and as they were being doggies on all fours - my DS swung his leg - hitting his best friends nose. Nasty and it started a nose bleed.. Hence the meet with the Head. Sigh. We are completely supportive of their concern but they really want to help. In class, lunch and little play time he has been good - but the big play time is a problem As an only child they think he doesn't know the ways of going in and playing...
I have put him to bed later, hoping that he wakes later, so more fresh - but this morning he was up and about drawing letters in his room at six !!!! I took him back to his bed and lay with him - tryin g to rest him (...and me)

Take each day as it comes. Dull but true.