How can I help my dd (4.4) become more confident?

[llynnnn]

Hi

My dd1 is 4.4 and started reception in Sept. She has always been quite a quiet child, she sucks her thumb and plays with her hair (apart from around close family and friends). Her teacher say she is a lovely, clever, kind girl at school but although the other children want to be friends with her she tends to cling to the only one girl (who is generally badly behaved btw!) which she knows from nursery.

This week she has told us some older girls have been pushing her about in the playground :( I really want her to be able to stand up for herself and make new friends/not be bullied but I think she finds it hard.

I was always quiet at school and found it hard to make friends (even now I have to really force myself to make conversation) How can I teach her these things and help her? I don't really want the same school life for her as I had as I found the whole thing a struggle :(

Thanks for any tips!

Invite loads of people home. Join classes outside school eg brownies, it really helps.

bumping for you

thanks for replying, she hasn't been invited to anyones house yet? not sure if the other kids in her class do it? Gahh i'm so new to all this and no help to her am i! Will have to ask her if there's anyone she'd like round for a play, do the parents generally come and stay too at this age??

She has been asking to do dancing class, must have a look into it. But maybe Brownies is cheaper!? Trying to wait until the new year for any extra expense as money so tight at the mo!

Brownies is usually cheaper. Does the school do clubs ? That might help. Parents do usually stay at least the first time IME then you get to know them which is nice. It will get easier. My first born used to hide behind me now she is a very tall outgoing young woman.

Do you find it hard to chat with the other parents yourself ?

my dd1 hides behind me if someone even looks at her, good to know they can become more confident :)

I do find it hard myself, the other parents all seem to know each other and stand in their little groups. dd1 is new to the school, whereas all but that one other girl have all been through nursery together. Doesnt help that I work 3 days a week too so only actually pick her up/drop her off twice each week. sorry not trying to make excuses

Sounds like a good excuse, it is hard. I would try to go and ask if anyone knows of a good local ballet class, it will help. I try to have a few potential questions in mind to ask if I can.

Good luck, it is only the first term ! Soon there will be xmas parties fayres and plays which are all good opportunities to find her some lovely friends.

You could be me and describing my dd(7)!

I agree Brownies is wonderful my dd loves it and shows no fear there at all. I think your dd would be the right age for Rainbows first though...

I think a good plan would be to ask the teacher if there is anyone like-minded in her class who would be a good match for your dd, and see if they could arrange for them to pal up a bit... Then the dds will beg for a playdate and it's easier to arrange one then!

Thanks Tiki - Will have to start making a huge effort

hotcross - Thanks for replying. I forgot about Rianbows. Will have to look into it. I've spoken to her teacher about it and she tells me she is very liked in the class but prefers to stay in her comfort zone with the one girl she knows better. Need to give dd a gentle push I think!!