I dont like my sons playmate.

[hefferlump]

I'm expecting some angry responses to this because I think I'm being mean!

DS is 3 and goes to nursery 3 days a week and about 12 months ago we met up with one of his little friends and his mum at the beach. We arranged a 'playdate' and its been almost weekly ever since.

My problem is that I dont like this little boy (he's 2.5) He pushes my son down the slide, grabs and snatches anything and everthing whether its at my home, his home or a play area to the point that DS frequently cries.
The boy throws stuff around my home and his mum seems totally unable to control/discipline effectively. She shouts a lot, says they will go home but never actually does anything.
When at her home she also speaks to her teenage daughter with utter disrespect too - infront of both the boys and I cant stand it.

I'm fed up with it and really want to distance myself from them. How do I go about it ........ or am I being a totally selfish cow of a mother who expects other kids to be as lovely as mine!?

No, I understand where you are coming from although many 2.5 yr olds are difficult I guess. I would also struggle to feel comfortable if my child was going to play with him at his house if you are not convinced about the way his behaviour is dealt with by the Mum.

I would probably draw away from them personally - find another group of Mums or have other plans. There is no point feeling uncomfortable.

Have a similar issue with my sons choice of friend too as his behaviour is starting to rub off on my son and am fed up with him getting pushed around so can empathise with you!

Thanks for your reply. I'll work on it

I agree with 1percentawake. Go with your gut instinct. Maybe your son will be relieved and could just be putting up with this kid that imo sounds like a bit of a brat (possibly due to his unfortunate upbringing). My children aren't old enough to socialise in this way but if they were treated like that and the mum of the other child did nothing, i'd be inclined to give subsequent playdates a wide berth!! Would you not feel comfortable laying down the law with the friend? I know a lot of people wouldn't go there but i think i'd chance it and if there were probs with the child's mother as a result, you know you're better off outta there!

It's easy enough to distance yourself - just make plans for next week. And if she suggests another day, you also have plans (but actual, not pretend plans). If all else fails, you have a touch of D&V on the day itself. Just do enough to break the routine for a while - it could be that as the friend gets a bit older he calms down and becomes nicer, or he'll find new friends, or she'll get the message.

Can you just say that your son is finding play dates tricky and can try again in a month. I did this with one friend but she was a close one and we had a very honest relationship.

Only just checked back so thanks all of you for your replies. Things are going well - the weather and illness have helped us to stay away a bit.

Christmas also helps - too busy etc LOL.

Thanks again.