Sleeping through the night my fucking ass!!!! (And constant repeating myself, I'm giving myself a headache).

[CrazyPlateLady]

I am soooo frustrated with DS's behaviour at the moment. He is 2.9, I am 6 months pregnant and getting really fed up of it all.

Every single thing I tell him, I have to repeat it several times, then get him to do it (ok its not actually all the time and he is very well behaved in general, but it feels like I am just constantly repeating myself). Today he covered his bedroom floor in toys. I asked him to pick some up. He said he didn't want to. I said I would help him after I had been to the toilet and told him to make a start with the puzzles or books. I told him if he didn't I would do it all and just take it all away.

He refused, I picked it all up, put it in a cardboard box and dragged it into my room and shut the door so he couldn't have any of it.

He goes to bed at 7, it is taking up to an hour and a half to get him down at the moment. At first it was excuses, he needed a wee or a poo and spent 20 minutes sat there, then someone was in his room, then he wanted this toy or that toy, then he needed a drink, then he wants covering up and he refuses to do it himself and will just stand at the top of the stairs until we go and do it. We have sorted the toilet and toy problem but this covering up thing is taking the piss.

I cannot remember that last time he actually slept through the night. He keeps waking up, around 3-4, getting up, shouting for daddy to cover him up, DH goes and does it and DS just goes back to bed. Problem is I am then awake for hours as I just don't go to sleep easily. He has always been an early riser and often I have only just got back to sleep when he gets up at 6. DH has started falling asleep at work due to these constant interruptions at night (it used to be more than the covering up but he seems to have stopped the rest).

If he was waking up for a genuine reason, then I wouldn't mind, but there isn't anything wrong, he gets out of bed to ask us to cover him up again FFS!!!

I am really stressed at the moment and it is doing my fucking nut. I don't want to be snappy with DS, he really is a lovely well behaved child, I would dread to have some of my friends toddlers and I know I should focus on this but the constant repeating and interrupted sleep is doing my head in.

He's really pushing your buttons att the moment isn't he!
With regards to the getting him to respond to your requests in a speedier way. I'd think about how you can reward him for his good behaviour rather than emphasising the punishment. So think about the good thing you can do with him once he's done the task or give him a sticker or choc button etc.

As for the night time thing.
You need to try a little Jo Frost Rapid return tactic.
Decide what he's allowed at bed time. As in what drink what comfort items. Limit the potty time to 5mins max.
Then minimise the attention he gets when he gets out of bed.
Can you put a sheet over the top of his duvet and tuck him all in so that the duvet can't fall off? I do this and it very effective.
Above all if your feeling stressed and every trying thing that he does feels magnified you need to take a step back and find any good things that he does and make a real fuss of him. Try to get out of any negative cycles your in.
This will improve and the covers in the night thing will stop quicker than you think. Good luck.

Like that sheet idea!! Have to try that one.

We do minimise our attention. We have learnt that they more you pay him attention, the more he will do it. We keep getting ranty but it doesn't help. He is allowed certain things in his bed, taking them away does work and there has been a big improvement compared to a few weeks ago. Tonight seemed to be a bit of a set back. He also likes the hallway light on now and if we turn it off he goes mad but then promises to stay in bed when we put it back on. After an hour tonight we turned the light off. He cried and when we put it on he went straight to sleep! Grrrr.

The tidying thing to soooo frustrating as sometimes he does it without us even asking him. I always praise him loads or try to make it into a game. He likes to 'race' us so he can win. There are times though when he just doesn't want to.

There are sooo many positives to him (so much that I am dreading this next DC being a demon as we have been very lucky with DS and his general behaviour).

I need to focus more on the good. Just finding the bad frustrating. Especially the amount of time tea is taking at the moment. That is another rip my hair out 'thing' (that I am trying not to let him see).

Crazyplatelady...are you me????? Seriously my 26 mo is behaving identically, I'm 5 months pg and utterly exhausted, he is - when I'm being reasonable - largely a lovely, lovely kid but hasnt been sleeping through for weeks now, calls for his dad, goes back to bed without a fuss but then wakes up early. I am trying to ignore the repeated requests to do things and as he is a wee bit younger than your LO I'll cross that bridge soon enough but because Im so tired I'm irritable and snappy, he is kanckered so far more prone to tantrums and whinging. I cant even face the thought of potty training! I do wonder if the whole new sibling thing is somehow making him feel slightly unsettled (along with a few other 'new' things happening). We are dropping his nap in the hope of better night sleeping, not interacting in the night, with a 'see you in the morning' said quietly and firmly and bed sheets well tucked in. I'm not able to offer advice but much, much sympathy!!!!!

When I was pg with dd my ds (2.3) at the time,we went through exactly the same thing. He repeatedly kept shouting down to us with any request that came into his head (food,drink,story,toilet etc) and would wake in the night and it would all start again. It was awful,I was so tired just couldn't enjoy my daytimes with him,and he was so tired he'd throw tantrums at the drop of a hat. I think it's a combination of sensing change with new baby on the way,and also age. I tried rapid return but just ended up more exhausted and gave up! We got a groclock (shows night and day) set up a reward chart and also tried to give him more reassurance eg. put him in bed,gave him a torch and book to look at and told him if he stayed in bed I'd come back and see him in 10mins. Usually he'd drop to sleep on the 2nd time of coming up to see him. Dd is now 10 weeks old,we still have the odd night he messes around but has settled down a lot,and rarely wakes in the night anymore. Stick with it,it will get better

Thanks. Glad to know I'm not the only one.

We potty trained about 6 weeks ago. It went amazingly well, which is why, if he still awake he wants his nappy off to go to the toilet.

I may do a reward chart. It worked fantastically for the potty training but he does need to know what goal he is working towards. Example, he had a real problem with poos and was terrified and kept doing it in his pants. Introuced special poo stickers (Postman Pat as oppose to stars) which worked at first, then didn't. Then we told him if he got a certain amount, he would get a new toy car. Didn't poo in his pants again!

Do you have a bedtime routine? Alot of little ones like the security and it seems like he is seeking reassurance from you-needs a drink,cuddle,toys,weeetc.

My Dcs bedtime routine was earlyish tea,followed by quiet play etc. Then upstairs to choose a book and toy (teddy)etc-place on bed and get in the bath -lots of pots etc to play and soothing bath stuff (not sure if they work but anything is worth trying).

Then last drink,teeth,wee and in bed for a cuddle and a book.You could leave a non spill cup with some water-preempts the "I need a drink"!
If he gets up settle firmly.If his covers "fall off" invest in a childrens sleeping bag -it worked a treat for my DD!
Also once they were in bed no toys apart from teddy for reassurance.
This prob took 45 mins in all but once they got in the routine it was like clockwork

We have had a routine for bedtime since he was a baby, he kind of fell into it early on and we went with it, which is why its frustrating with him suddenly playing up. He is also a bit too big now for sleeping bags. I used them from 6 months as he was a wriggler. I bought the ones that are up to 36 months but he is a very tall 2.9 year old and he isn't going to fit in the now. He used to have a drink in his bed, non spill cup but we put a stop to it as he would go through a whole cup, call out for more and have about 3 cups, then his nappy was leaking every night so we stopped drinks in his bed and he gets a small drink before he goes.

We find that if he doesn't have a couple of cars (his obsession) he will get out to play eith toys. Generally, with a chosen couple in his bed he would lay there and play with them for a bit then go to sleep. Cars are more of a comfort thing than teddies for DS. He isn't really into teddies.

He goes up at 6.35 (earlier if its bath day), gets changed, DH does his excema cream, he has a wee, does his teeth, has nappy on. I go up and do stories then he chooses 2 cars, gets a cuddle from us both and goes to bed. We have been doing this for 2 years and haven't had a problem. I think he is at the stage where he wants to delay bedtime as much as possible.

How much does he know about the baby?

He knows I have a baby in my tummy. He knows he is having a sister. We have been very open about it and got a couple of books about a baby joining the family. He often asks if she is here yet or if she has popped out. He refers to her by her name and we have let him choose her middle name. He also chose (off his own back, we didn't suggest it) a pink teddy with a blanket in the shop and said he wanted to buy it for his sister.