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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

I don't know which of us is worse - but help me get DS in his bed pleeeeeease!!!

21 replies

fastasleep · 19/09/2005 11:18

The worst problem on my list at the moment lol is that we got 18 month old DS a toddler bed, I'm 35 weeks pregnant and we need the cot for a certain someone else!

He's definately ready for a bed as he's been able to escape from his cot for ages, he loves the bed in the day, he loves to play on the bed and curl up and pretend to go to sleep and play with his teddies, and even have his daytime nap..... but when it gets to night-time all hell breaks loose, it takes an hour and a half to get him to sleep and then he wakes up the second I touch the door handle and runs out of bed and screams the house down...

The first few nights ended up with having him in our bed by 4am because I'm very pregnant and just couldn't sit up with him anymore... then I tried putting him back in his cot at night because I couldn't handle the noooiiiiise... but now he won't even go to sleep in his cot! He'll scream for hours and wake up at 4 and stay awake screaming until it's time to get up anyway! AAAARGH...

Also, does anyone have any tips for a woman who can't keep control of her temper now she's pregnant? DS seems to have turned into a hyperactive terrible two year old a bit early and the slightest thing makes me scream with rage

My mental health isn't going to survive having two of them is it!!

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Original poster

fastasleep · 19/09/2005 11:29

I have no idea why I posted this in behaviour and development! Maybe I was thinking that I was being badly behaved... hmm! Lol!

OP posts:

Jackstini · 19/09/2005 11:32

Has he said why he hates his bed?
Could he choose new covers for it or something so it feels like his choice?

Original poster

fastasleep · 19/09/2005 11:33

Are 18 month olds old enough to say why they don't like their new beds?

Oh god maybe he's developmentally delayed as well!

I'm having such a brilliant morning... I'd better go and find the little monster and try and relax for a bit (as I've gone totally and utterly mad)

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dinosaur · 19/09/2005 11:35

Sounds awful fastasleep . No wonder you're stressed. Can't DH do the putting him back to bed bit? Sadly I don't think there is going to be an easy answer other than being firm and consistent and putting him back to bed each time he gets up, with no talking and no eye contact.

Ulysees · 19/09/2005 11:36

Just going to recommend him helping choose new duvet etc.. too and making big fuss over it. I go OTT tbh.

Poor you though xx Try to count to 10, slow breaths, eat chocolate etc etc...but don't be too hard on yourself as most of us turn into monsters when pg so you're not alone. I used to find putting ds1 somewhere safe and having a minute or two alone (out in garden) helped diffuse the situation. Is there anyone who can have him for you for an hour or so?

Ulysees · 19/09/2005 11:37

Errmmm don't think I know any 18mth olds who could say that Maybe J didn't note his age lol.

Original poster

fastasleep · 19/09/2005 11:37

Thanks dino DH is being a bit useless in that department atm... maybe he'll come round once he comes home to find that all the plates have been thrown out of the kitchen window (I'm joking now, but by this evening... who knows!)

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Original poster

fastasleep · 19/09/2005 11:40

There's no one really to dump the little monster on, the poor little guy's getting used to my yelling

hopefully it'll wear off after the birth!

It's time for a forced nap I think (he seems floppy enough...)

OP posts:

Ulysees · 19/09/2005 11:40

Wots up with him fastasleep? You need tlc at the moment. Is he having some probs?

Ulysees · 19/09/2005 11:41

meant wot's up with dh btw.

TracyK · 19/09/2005 11:42

Can you borrow a cot for a while and have 2?
Does he feel insecure in it when it's dark - maybe a nightlight? or a side rail guard thingy?

Ulysees · 19/09/2005 11:42

Can you get out for a couple of hours on an evening maybe for a meal or just to go round a mates to eat spag bog and have a bottle of spritzer ..or whatever?

Original poster

fastasleep · 19/09/2005 11:47

the guard-rail thing might help, we did buy one but according to DH it won't fit onto his type of bed...

DH is just being a bit weird and keeps disappearing off for pints or he just says to ignore him when he starts screaming.... he's usually really helpful, don't know what's up with him!

I was going to go have a night out but DH decided we were too skint lol... men! Don't really have any 'go round to theirs for the evening' type friends..

Just realised I don't have time for a nap before I go out.. poo! Might take DS for a quick cuddle anyway...

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Ulysees · 19/09/2005 11:52

Can you have a candlelit supper with dh and try to coax it out of him?

Do you have a mate you could go for a cheap pub meal with? If there's only you to pay for then it's half the price plus sometimes you can get 241 deals mid week. If dh is managing a pint then you deserve a treat too IMO. Especially looking after a toddler and being pg.

bobbybob · 20/09/2005 07:16

Are you putting baby straight into the cot - have you got a carry cot, old drawer, moses basket - anything to put a baby who won't care where he/she sleeps.

Let your boy have his cot back - you will all get more sleep, which you need at the moment.

Original poster

fastasleep · 20/09/2005 15:02

I have let him have his cot back and he still won't sleeeeeeep...argh! My temper's getting worse - he bit me really hard today completely out of the blue and drew blood! I sort of batted him off, quite hard (ie slapped him hard in the body a few times till he let go) I feel awful! I just can't handle him anymore... feel like I can't handle anything anymore! I have 5 weeks left of pregnancy and then the really weird hormones kick in... nooooo!

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Melly · 20/09/2005 15:52

fastasleep I do feel for you. It's hard work looking after a toddler and being heavily pregnant. I had a similar age gap between mine. Regarding the cot/bed thing - I personally would not move him to a bed at this point. Theorectically the baby could come anytime very soon and little ones are very perceptive - your ds will know something is going on and if he picks up that he is going to have to give up the cot I suspect that will cause problems. Could you maybe buy a second hand cot bed. We did that for dd, she had a secondhand cotbed which we moved her into about 3 months before ds was born
and also into her new bedroom at the same time. This was a novelty and exciting for her and sufficiently far enough away from ds's arrival for her not to make the connection. Similarly I think after the baby is born, try not to make any changes, attempt potty training etc until the baby is at least 3 or 4 months. Sorry, this isn't particularly helpful because I know you only have another 5 weeks. I would definately try to get hold of a secondhand cotbed though.

Good luck and I hope things improve. I've just posted about my ds not sleeping at the moment, and I feel like s..t but then I'm not 35 weeks pregnant so I really do sympathise.

bobbybob · 20/09/2005 19:44

He's 18 months - it could be that he is going through a developmental spurt and wouldn't sleep anyway - even if you weren't 35 weeks pg.

Get your dp/h to deal with it. is he home at bedtime.

Dh has put ds to bed from a similar age and makes a good job of it because he isn't all ds-ed out from having him all day. Then he can keep that after the baby comes. (I did it because I work some evenings).

As for the biting - well I think you both need some time out - pop him in his cot and count to 10 somewhere.

Original poster

fastasleep · 20/09/2005 20:15

Thanks guys! I feel better now, we had a lovely long bath and massage (he got the massage - I got the fuzzy end of the lollypop there!) and we're friends again... DH put him to bed (the cot) as suggested and he went off after about 30 minutes of screaming and banging around which isn't too bad, so touch wood it's been a slightly better evening!

Potty training! That's not going to happen any time soon lol.... then again he'll probably want to when his little sister's just learned to crawl.. that could be yucky!

Anyway, he's staying in the cot, I'm staying more or less sane, Sophia (the bump) is going to be sleeping in a slightly battered slightly borrowed moses basket!

Thanks again... hopefully we won't get a repeat of the biting incident..

OP posts:

bobbybob · 21/09/2005 01:44

Sounds like a plan. Make sure you get DH to do it every night!

sarahhal · 21/09/2005 21:25

Fastasleep - you could be me with what you write except we now have a month old baby!! Tried to put DS1 in bed over the summer at 2.3 but after continuous getting out and still waking up at 5am we put him back in cot as it was just too knackering for me when I was so pregnant. He too has started kicking manically, biting and thrashing around when you try and put him down for naps ( actually thought there might be something wrong with him yesterday he was so out of control!) and he is still waking at 5.00am. I am desperate for him to sleep longer - feeding the baby during the night then being woken by DS1 is just too much! People say it's a phase but God, I hope it ends soon!! His room is pitch black with black out blinds and curtains so it's not the light waking him up, he's just ready to go at dawn!!! Sorry, whaffling, glass (or two!) of wine after being good for nine months ...!!

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