Boys becoming uncontrolable

[ftm42]

I have 3 boys aged 13, 11 and 7. They have just settled down for bed after about 1.5 hours of screaming, hitting, pushing, door slamming, etc etc. I am at my wits end trying to figure out why they all wind each other up so badly. If it was a couple of times a week I could handle it, but it's every single night. They also behave appallingly in my friends car when she takes them to school [she takes to school, I bring them and her son home]. They never get invited round to anyone's house and I can understand why if they behave like this!! Coupled with tha, I've been working f-t since beg sept and DH has been working all the hours God sends, including weekends since the beg October!! As a result we are all a bit tired + stressed, but tbh they were like this before I started working, but maybe they're worse now?!

Any advice would be greatly appreciated before I brand myself 'Worlds worst Mum'!

No advice, sorry. But you're not the worst mum because you acknowledging a problem.

Hi, also having simular probs, so I can sympathise! I have just mentioned on my thread about my 9yr old twin, that i have been working more, and my sons behaviour has been worse. I think it doesnt help that we all got over tired and stressed as well, so maybe that is part of it. Saying that, been talking to other mums of boy siblings, and it seem they nearly all fight! My boy broke his door handle by slamming it the other day, but at least I can shut him in his room and he cant get out to restart the fight now!

Can you have a meeting with them and discuss things - how hard you are finding things and what can they suggest as a solution?

Any way you could just send them to seperate rooms to calm down each time they start? Even if they have to spend most of the night in seperate rooms for a week b4 learning to b nicer.

I had 3 brothers and can remember how hard life was with them. Will get better. x

By the way, you are not the worlds worse Mum, you, like myself, are just stressed out and exhausted from the constant confrontation. I agree with SkyBlue, can you talk to them, especially the 13yr old, as he may be able to put it into words better than the younger 2.

could you organise an activity for them to do together? a sort of team building exercise and then as long as they are good in the week they can do it again

Bit of food for thought there, thanks all! The 13 year old has some behavioural issues which doesn't help - he's borderline Aspergers and finds it hard to express himself. They all have separate bedrooms anyway, it's getting them to stay in their own rooms that's still a problem!