3 year old disrupting nursery with bad behaviour

[Loosingmymind]

DS (3.7) has always been quite 'wild'. He has been at nursery part time since 15months old and I was pulled up for the 1st time about a month ago about his bad behaviour whilst there (mainly not listening, snatchings toys etc from other children).

They say his behaviour has been deteriorating (sp?) over the last month or so and today was the worst - he was throwing spoonfuls of soup at other children (had to be removed from room and eat lunch seperately), throwing toys at everybody, not tidying up when asked, running away from the staff when trying to get him inside from the garden and yesterday he bit another child.

I have noticed his behaviour getting worse at home too, with DD (19months)taking the brunt of it. I have started a behaviour chart and he gets stars for good behaviour, smiley faces for really good and sad faces for bad behaviour. At the end of the day he gets a small reward of he has a certain number of stars/smiley faces. This doesn't seem to help.

He also gets timed out when he hits etc but is v hard keeping him sitting for this, and toys get taken away and put out of reach until the next day.

So wise women / men of mumsnet - any suggestions to help turn him around?

I once heard that bad behaviour is nothing to worry about until the behaviour starts showing at nursery and then you should maybe talk to a Dr/HV re ADHD or similar so I'm starting to worry!

TIA

Can you talk to your health visitor about your concerns? He may have learned that misbehaving gets him loads of attention?

I mentioned it to her when was in gettin dd weìghed last week & she just said to keep chart simple.

Oops wasnt finished, think will take him back to hv. And i think you could be right about the attention thing but if i ignore him it gets worse with him breaking things, hitting dd etc :-(

You need to find out if anything is causing the behaviour. Maybe keep a note of what happens just before an outburst and then what happens after. You will soon see if there is a pattern to it.
Sorry I cant offer any more advice-maybe someone else will have some good ideas for you

I say lose the sad faces. If he does something bad, tell him off. When is behaving nicely or does something helpful, praise him AND put a smiley face on his chart.

What's changed in the last month?

thats a good idea re noting what happens before an outburts Ghouls, although thinking off the top of my head i think it is mostly when he doesnt get what he wants.

Jiggery, i will lose the sad faces and see if that makes a diff. I currenty praise him lots as well as the smiley faces.

Thats the thing that gets me, nothing has changed! He has always been challenging, and i have never really been consistent with punishments.

I have had a bad back since preg with dd and the last month or 2 its been alot worse so im wondering now if maybe im not playing as much with him due to that and thats made a difference? Its the only thing i can think of.