Why does my 3 year old act so badly with his dad?

[littlemrssleepy]

My son is 3 in a couple of weeks. He has always been more of a mummy's boy which is understandable as I'm the primary carer out of the two of us (although still work 30 hours myself so hardly model mummy!). DS's behaviour to daddy has got increasingly worse - particularly if he wakes at night at which point he will scream the house down if daddy tries to go near him. Just had an episode now and I refused to let him go back to bed until he told me why he was being so horrible - a variety of answers but largely along the lines of it makes him happy! Cue worrying thoughts about devil child.....DH has started a new job and is working long hours, and I am also 4 months pregnant with number 2, which might be having an effect. Any advice on what to do - it's horrible for DH and very frustrating for me. He seems generally fine with daddy if I am not around at all....perhaps I should move out and leave them to it?

Hard to advise. Could you (a) ignore it as much as possible to stop him learning to manipulate and wind you both up and/or (b) do some fun stuff together - decorating biscuits, kicking a ball to each other, park etc, so there is an emphasis on you being a threesome and eventually you can become more in the background and they can become a twosome? Is there anything he is really interested in that Dad can be the one to be involved with as a special treat?

One of mine screamed if Daddy left the room which was equally unreasonable.
If all else fails, just remember the mantra - 'He will grow out of it' (or 'This too will pass').

I am sure you want to sort this out before DC2 arrives! Good luck.

Thanks Greenwing. I think it might just be a case of sitting it out. They do plenty of stuff together and we do quite a lot as a family at weekends. It's just bizarre. He'll ask for a drink and then refuse to drink it if daddy gets it. At the moment I'm just making him wait and telling him if he won't let daddy help then he will havre to wait until I'm ready.

Nothing to do with thread - but working 30 hours and being a model mum are not incompatible!

Tis v normal!

But such hard work while you wait it out. To be honest, I personally go along with it (yes, Mummy will get the drink/ read the book/ wipe that bottom!) because in the long run it's easier. And no, I don't think it's 'setting myself up for trouble etc'.
You've mentioned lots of changes in your dc's life; no wonder he feels a bit strange. He's only 2 and just needs lots more reassurance for a little while til he feels more confident and things get onto a more normal footing.

But I was surprised with 'I refused to let him go back to bed until he told me why he was being so horrible'. Most 2/3 year olds can't articulate this, and lots of adults find it hard to say why they're being grotty. The phrase 'I'm tired and cross' gets used a lot in this house and it's enough...

Just wait it out, and give him and his dad lots of cuddles :)