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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Help! got into bad habits with bf and co sleeping

13 replies

Talou1 · 08/11/2010 16:02

re the qu about 4 month old waking thru night for feeding. My d.d does this too, she is also 4m. But we have got into bad habits, she feeds, we both fall asleep and now when i wake and try to put her in cot she goes waaaa. I take her out again and put her in bed with me as don't want to wake d.s. But to make her sleep i put her on boob again. Consequently it feels like all i do is feed at night and never sleep. Did anyone else fall into this trap and how do i get out of it? Would like to stop feeding all the time and occasionally sleep without the baby, cute as she is. Cheers.

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maxybrown · 08/11/2010 16:29

oh god yes me!! But we just gave up and co slept permenantly, then eventually I just said no and that was that - but we still live DS jumping in with us at 3, we like to cosy up togther!! lol.

TrinityTheTwattyRhino · 08/11/2010 16:31

this is what I've done with all 3 of them

never seen it as bad habits

your baby is tiny, needs to feed regularly and often day and night and wants to be as close to you as possible

it does get easier

mjinhiding · 08/11/2010 16:34

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maxybrown · 08/11/2010 16:39

here here - soon they won't want to know us - snuggles for as long as possible in this house!! [girn]

Original poster

Talou1 · 08/11/2010 16:40

Thanks for your answers. For various reasons i didn't breast feed my d.s and wanted to manage it this time. I am glad others did the same thing, felt like i was doing it wrong. If she continues to co sleep with me will this hinder her falling asleep by herself, i.e will the night feedings eventually lesson? But i do agree they are only this young once and it is lovely to have her with me, and we have had 4 in the bed too, very cosy!!

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mjinhiding · 08/11/2010 16:42

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winnybella · 08/11/2010 16:45

What Trinity said.

And no, it shouldn't affect her sleeping habits later, DD is 21 mo and after a year and a half of co-sleeping whole night and then only second half, she now sleeps in her cot happily.

Southwestwhippet · 08/11/2010 21:00

My DD is 9 months, we have co-slept from the start.

Now she starts in her own bed at about 7:30 then comes in with me when she wakes usually at about 1:00 am. Gradually she seems to be staying in her own bed longer, I hope that this will continue but I am trying to go for a natural, relaxed approach rather than getting into an exhausting battle with her. Also I love the early morning smooching session So far it is working well, I don't feel that i have 'made a rod for my back' like many people suggest by co-sleeping and demand feeding, in fact I think it is the most restful way.

Original poster

Talou1 · 09/11/2010 09:05

Yes i agree that early morning sessions is nice, espec when they wake & give you that big smile, aaaah.

OP posts:

vez123 · 09/11/2010 09:07

It depends what you're happy with. I often used to take DS to bed in the early morning hours during his first 3 months because he wouldn't settle any other way. This way we all got some more sleep and it was lovely waking up and looking at my baby!
But I also need my space in bed and I was always lying in a funny position which was not great for my back. And I did not use the duvet but just a thin blanket which was fine in the summer but not now! And at about 4 months I wanted to introduce a bit more of a structure to his feeding and sleeping. Since then I feed him sitting in a comfy chair next to our bed and then put him back into his cot and he usually settles quite quickly. I also introduced a bedtime routine and (try to) keep his day a bit more structured in terms of feeding and sleeping.
He is now 5 months and usually wakes up for one feed between 7pm and 6:30am.
It's up to you as long as everyone is happy with the arrangement!

ScroobiousPip · 09/11/2010 09:18

Always co-slept and bfed DS. He started to self-settle at around 12mo and was sleeping through by 18mo. It's a skill that all children learn eventually. Enjoy the cuddles now - it'll soon pass.

lubeloo72 · 09/11/2010 09:36

My DS2 is 9 months and he starts off in his cot, DH gives him a bottle when he first wakes and the next time he wakes he comes in with us (to be BF). The lastest he has stayed in his cot is 5ish but it's usually much earlier he comes through. I'm really relaxed about him sleeping with us and feel no hurrry for him to sleep through. It does feel different this time as with DS1 I didn't want him to get used to co-sleeping but this time I'm just going with the flow and enjoying the snuggles...I'm sure he won't be doing it at 18!

cathbath · 09/11/2010 10:24

I bf and co-slept with DD (though I did settle her in her cot at the start of the evening). Co-sleeping was a conscious choice as I had so many problems bfing my DS, and wanted to make things easier on myself this time. So I definitely wouldn't say it was bad habits!

It worked for us because DD and I had the double bed to ourselves in the spare room. DH slept in our bedroom, so he wasn't disturbed by DD, and he was able to get up and deal with DS (and so I could have a lie in!). We all got a better night's sleep this way.

I found the night feeds got a lot quicker and less frequent as time went on. DD made the transition to her cot at around 15mo. She now mostly sleeps through the night in her own cot (we just bring her into our bed for a cuddle if she's particularly ill or unsettled).

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