advice on tackling 4 yo's racist comment

[flower68]

My 4 YO son (who is white on the rare occasions he has a clean face) came home from nursery and announced "I don't like XXX because she has a brown face." Was v shocked but struggled to know what to say beyond "that's a bit silly, like saying I don't like you because you've got grey eyes." Should I do or say anything else? He has gone through a sexist phase too "don't drive the car mummy, you're a girl and girls don't drive" which was funny rather than offensive. Instinctively I feel I should just leave it rather than draw more attention to it. Does anyone have similar experiences? Should I mention it to the nursery staff. He is actually a nice little boy most of the time!

I think you handled it v well.
It sounds as if he is tryng ideas out - like the car driving thing - just keep challenging him and showing him the very real situation that lots of women drive cars, wy on earth wouldn;t they - and they drive buses and space rockets, too, an take every natural opportunity to emphasise that we make decisions on who we like based on how they behave, not how they look.

I have posted a reply on your other thread about this.

I think you should keep it in perspective. He is four, and experimenting with the novel idea of his own independent identity which is all about how he is different and similar to others eg gender, skin colour. Agree with Blu, just keep calmly saying what you are saying and reiterating the importance of what's inside. Don't tell the nursery - this sort of comment is pretty normal and he is very little. I think if he knew he could get lots of attention for saying 'naughty' things like this he would do it more rather than less!

Thanks very much to all - feel very much reassured!

dd1 came out with a very similar comment a few weeks ago. She has just started school, and I assumed she was parrotting something she heard someone else say. We tackled it more or less how you did then left it alone. She hasn't said anything like that since.

Also make sure it was actually a racist comment. The 3-yr old DD of a friend once said she didn't like X because he's black. She launched in anti-racist mode. A few days later, she meets X at nursery only to find X is white. Apparently X had been WEARING black (a Batman costume) and it had scared her.

No...don't relax about it...he must be getting it from someone else.Is it another child? My sis had an awful time with her now 7 year old DD who was coming out with total FILTH at the age of 5-6. A couple of lads in his class were full of this bigoted crap...and he was picking it up.

You should look at helping him understand differences...there are plenty of books.