Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

pls help! 3 yr old dd wakes up grumpy every morning. it's driving me insane!!!

8 replies

wishingwell · 05/11/2010 10:19

Desperately need advice as am reduced to tears and suicidal thoughts this morning due to dd's behaviour. She's always been a difficult and highly demanding child and I really struggled with her.

Every morning she wakes up grumpy and have a tantrum over every little thing- what colour pants, which trousers, who puts them on, whether dress should go in from the head down or leg up, which book to read, whether she wants to be carried or walk downstairs herself...and then how much cereal in bow, porridge too lumpy or runny...it goes on and on and on every single day. I really lost it this morning and had to stuff my fist in my mouth to stop myself screaming at her or worst still smack her.

I am really worried about my sanity as used to self harm when was younger but managed to get through that and thought it was all behind me. I worry constantly that I'm a bad mother.I'm not one of those natural earth mother. I hate myself for not being more patient, more softly spoken and not get angry too quickly.

Have a 10 month ds as well and it's looking like he's going to be the same as his sister. Really need advise how to cope better with the morning tantrums...tell me it will past...it's been nearly 2 years already!! thanks.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
notnowbernard · 05/11/2010 10:21

Sorry it's tough for you atm

Firstly, are you really experiencing genuine suicidal thoughts? Because that's obviously very serious indeed and you need to get support from professionals if so. Are you having self-harm thoughts as well?

elephantsaregreen · 05/11/2010 11:15

sorry I can't offer you any advice other than, trying to stay calm, ignore,ignore ignore, but if it's any consolation I have the same problem. Mornings are hard hard.

I tell my kids they have to speak to me in a normal voice or else they don't get what they are asking for. They have to say please too.

that works after a while for our brats Wink

mousymouse · 05/11/2010 11:19

for your thoughts please seek professional help. maybe pnd?

reg your daughter, maybe putting her to bed half an hour earlier will help? or giving her breakfast first thing?
ds is grumpy in the mornings before he's had something to eat. also we moved his bedtime half an hour forward when he dropped his afternoon nap.

DownyEmerald · 05/11/2010 21:17

My only advice is a bit like mousy - try doing things in a different order. For me, I have no idea why, it drives me mad to get dd dressed after breakfast, I do it before breakfast to keep me sane.

Also I keep rice cakes by the bed so she has something inside her straight away.

Or just plonk them in front of cbeebies for half and hour and see if they cheer up? It must be soul-destroying - you have my sympathy.

whoknowswhatthefutureholds · 05/11/2010 21:35

both DS1 and I are incredibly grumpy in the morning (as is my dad and Grandad"!) the other 3 are sparky as buttons.

What we need is space and no noise.

things we have found to help:

Sort out clothes they will wear the day before.

Talk to them about breakfast the night before (tomorrow we are having porridge..)

do not ask any questions in the morning (do you want?, which bowl? etc ... in fact sort it out the day before where possible)

give them the food then go upstairs/oput the room (give them space)

DS is much better with the radio on.

totally and utterly ignore any grumpiness. the more you react the more they will

I am still totally mardy in the morning and need to eat on my own, the days that doesnt happen I am a grumpy moo until about midday, so don't expect it to change too soon!

good luck!

MmeLindt · 05/11/2010 21:41

Agree with Whoknows.

Clothes laid out the night before. NO exceptions - especially not the first week. Once she gets used to it, it will be routine.

Let her take control over some things (within reason)but don't give her too many choices.

Let her dress herself but she can ask for help.

Do you have time in the morning or are you rushing to get out of the house?

If you are not rushed then let her keep her pjs on until after breakfast.

runnervt · 05/11/2010 21:45

Is she sleeping well at night? Any snoring? If her sleep is disturbed then that could be making her grumpy.

littleducks · 05/11/2010 21:50

I would check she isnt too tired

Or if its a hunger issue give her a sugar hit when she wakes, maybe a banana?

If its just character maybe give her time to wake up properly, 10 minutes in bed listening to story CD or something

New posts on this thread. Refresh page