How best to deal with genuine fears (5 year old)

[idril]

My almost 5 year old keeps telling me he scared of fire. When I probe further, he tells me that he scared there is going to be a fire.

We had a minor fire a few months ago when I accidently left the hob on and put his bib on top and it caught fire which I thought he'd got over (he was worried at the time).

I think the current episode of fear has been triggered by a fire drill at school before half term and apparently he was very distressed about it. This, in combination with the fire in the kitchen has made him terrified.

I don't know how best to deal with it. So far I have

• told him that fires are very rare but if we did have a big fire, we would be able to get out (and explained how).
• told him that I've never experienced a big fire (so they don't happen very often)
• told him about how we can be careful to stop fires happening
• told him how I used to be scared of the house flooding when I was a child (sometimes it helps him when I normalise how he is feeling)
• told him that there will be other fire drills at school but it will most likely be another practice ("but it might be a real fire" was his reaction to that)

I find it hard because I think he wants me to say that there will never be a fire which I obviously can't do.

Any advice or ideas to help him stop worrying? I'm also interested in recommendations for books to read on how to deal with anxieties.

Thanks

You could ring the local fire station and ask some one there to talk to him, see if you could visit? Our local fire station does educational nights for children you could see if yours does that.

Could you light a tiny controlled fire and get him to help you extinguish it?

Have a word with school and ask that he has time off when the next fire practice happens.

I had this with my little boy - and it was because of school fire drills too !

Eventually he realised by having the drills he would know exactly what to do if there was a fire and he's now the official fire alarm monitor in our house - it's always him that remembers they need testing weekly !

He knows he's never to hide if there's a fire at night - he's to go to the nearest window and bang on the glass so that everyone knows where he is.

I certainly wouldn't ask the school to exclude him from further drills - he might not be off the day of a real fire and would have reason to panic because he wouldn't know what to do !

I think a trip to the firestation is a great idea too !

Thanks everyone. The fire station idea is a great one - I'll definitely give them a ring.

Will also reiterate about how the drill means he will know what to do if there is a real fire.

I think the school also gave a fire safety talka as another mum mentioned that her little boy was really concerned when she was going to light candles in their pumpkins.

They are so impressionable at this age.