sad thast my little one never seems to embrace my being his loving mum

[bumbly]

eg i try to help him hold a pencil and screams go away

eg i try to teach him to ride a bike and he screams wha wha wha

i could go on

does anyonme have a "COLD" lo...he does cuddle up to me at bedtime milk time but never ever after that!!!

today at playgroup i saw a little one run to him mum screaming and hugging her when she arrived slightly later..he arrived with his grandma

i never have that..never ever in three years

just resentment whnn i try to get near and play, teach etc

Sounds like mine.

He's just independent and determined he can do things his way. If Ds wants help he asks by giving me whatever he's struggling with. Eg he can scoop cereal on a spoon but sometimes gets stuck so gives me the spoon. He won't let me takethe spoon tho- I have to wait for it to be given iyswim.

My Ds is only 18mo tho. And does cuddle for stories and some tv time and when he's upset.
Does yours never ever cuddle except milk time?

Hmm, my DS2 is maybe a bit like this. He's cuddly on his terms, and he doesn't want help. Surely that's fair enough? He's who he is, and he needs what he needs.

try not to be too disheartened. happens regularly when i put my arms out for a big cuddle and they are left dangling in space with a screamed nooooooooooo!

independance is good!

make sure you have a nice cuddle/chat/kiss at bed time when they might be a bit more receptive?

the being hugged and leg cuddling...never had that either. i always felt a bit put out that none of my three have ever hidden behind my skirt and clutched on to me at preschool/playgroup but actually they are all independant and involved with their play. i just had to face the embarrassment of them screamming and crying as we left muttering 'honestly i don't put them in a dungeon when we get home'

Sometimes when I ask DD for a cuddle she says "No mummy." So sometimes I turn it into a game and sneak up on her and cuddle and kiss her until she is laughing.

Othertimes I am glad that she is happy and independent.

My dd is independant too. I admire that about her. Not like me - Huggy Needyson from ValidateMesville.

And it makes the odd little cuddle SO precious.

("Mum, you can let go now. Seriously Mum, leave me alone ")

I used to play 'gobble monster' - the only way I could kiss DS when younger. He became much more cuddly when he turned 4/5. Now he's 7 he really loves a cuddle.

thanks for messages

net was down two days argh!!!

yes he is independent and rejects me but at same time whines and whinges if am not there sitting like a duck watching him without interefering

can never win!!!

try being silly and fun instead of hankering after cuddles. you can always slip a quick one in as a hairy mummy monster! x

have you ever sought any professional help , bumbly, to support you as since your LO was born, you've felt anxious and htat you're doing it wrong and that he does not love you.. 3 years is a long time to feel like this

My DS is extremely independant - but very cuddly too. I keep wodering when it will end but if he says no, DH and I tend to pin him down and smother him in love DH says he has to have his kisses wether he likes it or not - I can still see DH doing this to him when he is 15 and humiliating him

Yeah my DS1's the same, never clingy with me, happy to go to anyone from the word go but at the same time quite demanding in that he had to be rocked to sleep in a certain way for a long time but he didn't care who rocked him. To be honest despite me being there 24/7 and his dad working alot- he has always been, and still is a daddy's boy.

The plus side of all this is that I could leave him with babysitter without any guilt, crying or worry. Mine too will be the one crying when he has to come home from school etc. It's just a personality thing.

DS2 seems alot more attached to me and seems to prefer me too which is lovely for me.

Try not to worry about it you don't want to be one of those needy clingy mothers who can't let go of her son when he is 18 do ya?
Partly joking but I'm sure you get what I'm saying.

I agree with Lulumama bumbly, I do think you should speak to someone about this.x

Hi Bumbly, i agree with one comment that you should make it fun. I play cuddle monster and cuddle robot with my d.s and chase him, saying "cuddle robot is coming" in a robotic voice. Sounds daft but makes him laugh and when i catch him he lets me cuddle him and then sometines he will decide to be cuddle robot too. Might get your d.s used to the contact and be a start?