How much TV before/after school

[yankey]

I have slipped into allowing my 4 year old dd to occassionally watch TV in the am before school until we leave and after school until dinner. My dd 4 has started school and is completely wiped out after it (often also ill/cough cold infections...). In addition (more excuses..) I have a ds 11mths old and whenever I try to do something with DD the baby wont leave us alone and it makes it hard work, which often leads to rows and jealousy. I have recently gotten in the habit of switching the TV on instead and it stays on till dinner....I know I shouldn't and need some tips on how others are coping with play time with 2 or more and how much play time/TV you give your kids? Note whenever I dont have the TV on I am the entertainment painting, play-do etc....

I have an almost 4 year old and a 6 year old. They have full days (little one gets home from nursery at 5.20 ish), and we don't have telly during the week. They watch some on Friday evening (an hour or so) and also a bit at weekends. I am lucky - they get on well (usually) and love playing cars / other fantasy games together.

Your situation is a bit different, so I wouldn't feel too guilty.

Depends on how tired they are in our house- ds1 is in yr1 and is totally pooped at the end of the day. I feel bad about getting him to do the stuff that ds2 (2.5) and I might be doing -outside on bike, playing cars, pretend games etc etc- as he is so totally shattered that I feel it might be a bit mean to expect him to do anything more taxing than vegging out.

But they have tea quite early (between 4.30/5 and we rarely get home before 3.45) at which point tv goes off- and might not reappear at all, after tea he is normally a bit more energised and we can do something else.

Nothing at all in the morning before school- the deal is that if he gets dressed/brushes his teeth/has done his spellings and done a bit of reading then he can watch a bit- but this has never happened yet! (I'm still asking him to get his shoes on as I load ds2 into the car normally)

However you sound like you've got a lot on your plate at them moment and if it buys you a litle bit of breathing space whilst you get things sorted then it sounds perfectly legitimate parenting technique to me! It might not be ideal and you might not want it to be that way forever but you're allowed to be kind to yourself as well as your children.

No TV in the morning here. It makes my two grumpy if I let them. They are allowed TV while I am making dinner (for about half an hour) and then Waybaloo and Night Garden after most evenings .

I have gone through periods of using the TV as a babysitter, though. It's hard when you are trying to keep kids of different ages entertained and get stuff done around the house.

I started relying more on Milkshake in the mornings when baby DS arrived. However she has learnt to regulate herself now at 3.4 and she will often say "mummy I don't want to watch any more".

The only problem we have is that she won't get dressed if she's too into a favourite show, so DH and I agreed that on the 3x a week she starts nursery at 9, she will only have the tv on when she is completely ready.

Your OP suggests to me that you are not really happy with all this telly-watching for your child.

So based on that notion, this is what I think:

Your DD is young so you may as well start as you mean to go on.

No telly before school.

One hour telly at the most after school, preferably in two instalments of half an hour. They just don't need it and it doesn't do them any good. Overstimulates them when they are already tired, causes fighting after too much and is detrimental to their powers of concentration and to their vocabulary.

But I think you already know this.

Save using the telly as a babysitter for emergencies, like when you are ill.

Fantastic activities: Playdoh, painting, sticking, cooking, memory games, stories, walks, helping you with household jobs like matching up socks, flattening cardboard cereal boxes etc for recycling, sweeping the kitchen floor - (give DD a piece of chalk and teach her to draw a circle on the floor and sweep all the dust into it, then to collect it in a dustpan) tidying the cutlery drawer, polishing the tables - THEY LOVE ALL THIS STUFF WE THINK IS WORK!

Sorry, I don't suppose this is what you were looking for!

My dd would never say I've had enough telly, in fact when I switch it over to an adult
programme to get her away from it she watches that too! Therefore we almost never have anything on but kiddies programmes. I don't get the opportunity to sit and watch tv until the kids are in bed but I do quite like it on in the background. When dd was at home it was easier, we had a day of things to do and no telly rule between 9 and 4, but now that she is at school when she gets home I am tired and need to do dinner. Am thinking of maybe issuing an amount like no more then 1.5 hours a day. But I know if the telly isnt on dd will be wanting me to join her in an activity 'I want you to colour/play with me'and I will be feeling guilty at not jumping at the opportunity for quality time .

Have lots of activities available that you can get her started on and then slink off to do dinner etc. Colouring, lacing beads etc. So she still gets to do stuff with you but you get things done. Start the activity with her and then say "right DD, I'm going to do dinner now, I'll pop back in 10 to see how that picture is going, I can't wait to see it!" etc.

Is your kitchen big enough for her to sit with you? (mine isn't)

Yankey, please don't feel guilty about it. The very fact that you are thinking about the amount of tv your dd is watching means that you will make the effort to do other things with her. Contrary to what has been posted I do not think that it is detrimental to the development of vocabulary. My daughter may watch up to 45 minutes a day, more at weekends and she has a vocabulary which constantly amazes me. When my ds was born there were times that she watched for hours while I breastfed, changed nappies, dealt with vomit etc.
If your dd watched tv all day and didn't play with toys or colour in or help you with tasks at all I think you'd be right to be concerned. But as it is I really don't think you need to worry. We mothers have enough to feel guilty about!

I remember going through a phases when I feared DCs were becoming TV addicts but it was always at time that they needed the down time.

When she has more energy after school, she'll be up for other activities. I'd probably leave it for the winter and then use warmer, spring weather to stop the TV after school habit.

In the meantime, have you tried story books with CDs as a replacement on some evenings? We have some with a sound when you need to turn the page. I used to sit with DD for the first and then go off and prepare the meal while she listened to more.

The other thing that worked well was if I set up something that needed finishing, eg started a jigsaw puzzle and just left it lying on the table. If you do that, sometimes they just take the initiative to finish it.

We dont do tv in the morning on school days anymore, it just slows down the getting ready and makes mine grumpy too. At weekends it is on first thing though !!!

My dd is 4 and in reception, she normally gets home about 4.30 (and its dark now ) so she has the choice of changing into pjamas or 'home clothes' and always opts for the pjamas she is soo tired and then watches tv, till tea then bath, reading book, playing and bed, though occassionally i just allow tv until bed at 6.30

So i suppose 45 minutes before dinner normally

Dd 4yo, just started reception, ds 21mo... we have no television at all.
They play in the dining room whilst dh gets breakfast ready, or I get supper ready- sometimes with each other, usually alongside each other.
If they're tired then there is sometimes whinging- often solved by getting dd to read to ds- both sitting down quietly, within eyeline, and both happy- bliss!

We are actually thinking of disconnecting the tv sometime anyway, maybe for a year or so. Just using the set for DVDs and wii. Not really because of the kids, it's mostly because neither of us actually watch much telly.

No tv in the mornings and maximum half an hour in the evening when I'm making dinner. They watch a film at the weekend.

Mine 4 and 2 watch tv in the mornings between 6am (when they wake up) and 7.30am. Then again between 6pm and 7pm. They'll watch a couple of hours at the weekends as well.
Personally, I don't think its too much

Great thanks for the ideas and advise. I cant really stop tv in the morning as hubbie quite often does the 5:30 'early shift' with baby and sports telly goes straight on as does coffee. I am not complaining about any of this as then would get no help...or coffee!. However I think 1 programme in the am as long as there is enough time as dd does get ready well in the am (generally). 1-2 programmes in the evening depending on Mums energy levels. I do think life would be a lot easier if the children were closer in age. ds is too young to sit and listen to a story (still trying to grab and eat everything), however dd does love the CD books which we have in the car will defo use that - great idea. Also forgot about mummy's little helper - dd loves all that. Anymore tips much appreciated.

Hi there,
I think you're doing great... It's hard when they're wiped out. My son has just turned 4, is at nursery school but does 2 full days.

We tend to get home about 4pm when he does the full days. The telly goes on, and stays on till 4.35- so only 35 minutes. Then it's tea time, and after tea they are generally better- we've had a rule no telly after tea for yonks.

We used to have tea at 5 or a bit after but the days he does full days I've found having tea earlier stops the too much T.V. problem.

I have a nearly 2 year old as well. Trouble is if we ban telly he is often too zonked to do any activity, and it ends in tears/anger/frustration etc, so I see it as a necessary evil in some ways.

I found in the Summer hols (he was in pre-school before nursery this Sept), when I had them both all day we actually had less T.V. It was a lot easier to keep up with both their energy levels and plan the day accordingly.

We don't have T.V. in the morning. I found my DD at your son's age would boogie around by herself whilst I read DS stories etc - maybe more independent as a girl? Can't imagine DS doing this at that age, he was more Mummy intensive!

I restrict TV but not obsessively - we have it on perhaps 30 mins before daycare and during weekends it's on for longer (eg 30 mins in morning, 30 mins during quiet time after lunch and 30 mins after dinner).

My DD has an excellent vocabulary and can talk in complex sentences at age 2.4 years old. She loves books and also has an active imagination and can play alone for long periods of time, so I'm not worried about the effects of TV on her. In fact, by watching certain programmes like Pingu and The Large Family, she has developed a terrific ability to concentrate and also to follow narrative: she'll recount entire story lines now and she's not yet 2 and a half. TV may have a negative impact on many children but not all. In your case I wouldn't worry too much.

here, 1st thing in the morning for about 45 minutes, then no telly until about 4:30 whilst I cook their dinner, then we eat together, and then they watch it again with a glass of milk at about 6:30 for one hour of quiet tv a program like Little Bear on Tiny Tots (DS1 is 5 but still likes that show). We do watch movies at weekends when it rains.

I think it's tiny pots , not tiny tops!

tiny POPS goodness me I'm useless today