What is a parent counsellor and where do I find one?

[MollieO]

Was told by ds's form teacher and SENCO that ds's behavioural problems are because of my crap parenting skills. They said I need to see a counsellor to help me but didn't suggest how I actually go about it.

Ds is in yr 2 (6.4). He refuses to do school or homework. He boasts to his classmates about the fact that he hasn't done his homework. In class he copies other pupil's work. He is disruptive in choir practice.

All of these are apparently my fault because I am a single parent. hmm

I suggested that ds should be referred to an Ed Psych (which either I or my health insurers would pay for as he is at private school). Teachers said that work isn't the problem (even though he isn't doing any he hasn't fallen behind) but his attitude to work is.

They have suggested that if I sit him down and give him ten minutes to do his homework he will comply and do it. Makes me wonder what they think I have actually been doing to try and get him to do it.

I am curious to know what a counsellor could add and interested if anyone has been through this. Looking at the other parents in the year I reckon I am one of the strictest. I expect ds to try his best and I don't reward spelling test marks with new toys (which a lot of others appear to do).

Ds refused to do his homework over half term so missed various activities because of that. He doesn't have tv on until he has done his homework (so he doesn't see any tv at the moment). Not sure what else I can do.

That should have been a and figure a and as well.

What you need is someone on your side Mollie.I'm not going to "Ridgeway Bash"but boy is it tempting!Are you in the catchment area for St Marks Hospital? You will need a referal from your Gp to see a Physchologist in CAMHS.Hopefully Maria will still be there but they were all so supportive for us and they will visit the school without question. I think you work,it will mean a few visits though and they do like to observe both with you present and without you and they will observe at school before making any decisions.I hope this helps.

That's interesting Jdore. The cons paed at St Marks said they won't get involved unless our GP suspects autism (which he doesn't). However since that conversation the focus at school seems to have switched from educational concerns to purely behavioural (and my lack of parenting skills ).

I'm going to get the SENCO to write a report with her concerns and get our GP to refer. We got a referral to CAHMS last year but I was told by school that that wasn't what ds needed.

I'm quite happy to take whatever time off I need to ensure ds gets the help he needs. I'm also writing to the SENCO to say I want ds timetabled with the other SENCO next term (who told me she missed teaching him).

Did you have a good outcome and stay at the school or did you move? I always thought it had a good reputation for SENs and SNs especially compared to St Ps but I'm not sure now.