challenging behaviour at nursery)

[gingerrapunzel]

I am really stressed and worried as, whenever I ask, nursery keep giving me negative feedback on my son.

He is 4 and this has been going on for 2 years on and off. Firstly it was biting then hitting. Seems that phase passed and now its name calling and lying. More generally the issue is that he seems to find it hard to get on in big groups.

It is a good nursery and moved him there from another one as hoped that this would improve things. his keyworker is caring and my son likes him a lot - its almost as if he is lagging behind on the social and emotional development side from what they say.

It worries me as he starts school next year and I really want to sort out this behaviour before then. Also I am distressed as lots of parents complaining about him.

At home, he is not an angel all the time of course, but I think his behaviour is pretty good. I am reasonably strict and he does get disciplined if he misbehaves and he gets lots of praise for good behaviou. He has a younger sibling and is very loving towards him. Of course they do sometime have arguments but he is consistently told off if he does hit or something so I do not think the issue is down to my lack of discipline.

I am at a loss for the difference in behaviour really. I do socialise him with other kids and he goes to parties at weekends and football etc where he listens to teachers etc.

I keep asking the nursery what we can do to help him but getting no-one I feel. They referred him to play therapy but that hasnt changed things (

He would always rather stay at home and play with me than go to nursery but not an option as i have to work.

I need to speak to the nursery again and follow up but at the end o the day he is my son and I want to the best for him so realy want to help them. Has anyone come across similar scenario before? any ideas or suggestions.

OK- controversial suggestion but maybe the long hours at nursery do not suit him at this age?

Any chance he could move to a childminder rather than a nursery and see if things improve.

Although they can generally cope better as they get older and he is 4, due to start school next year, it may just all be a bit too much for him? This is just his personality I would think, if he is ok at home and generally.

Yes, I do know what you mean - its a long time to behave isnt it and follow all the rules necessary in a nursery environment? I am considering doing this....maybe get him picked up at 3 or so and taken home.....it is not necessarily tiredness related hough as incidents can happen anytime in day it seems and he sleep a good 12/13 hours a nught

Yes, I do know what you mean - its a long time to behave isnt it and follow all the rules necessary in a nursery environment? I am considering doing this....maybe get him picked up at 3 or so and taken home.....it is not necessarily tiredness related hough as incidents can happen anytime in day it seems and he sleep a good 12/13 hours a nught

Hi gingerrapunzel.

This all sounds very familliar to me. My dd is nearly 4 and started fairly late but she has really struggled with her social skills. She has yet to make any friends even though she tries so hard to be friendly.
Most children seem almost scared of her, because her reactions aren't always normal. I don't think my situation is exactly the same but I understand the wondering what's wrong.

One thing I will say though is that if you're thinking it's anything like ADHD, they'll rule that out straight away, because apparently children never sleep that well who have this. I'm not so sure myself, but that's the general medical opinion I think.

Do you feel there is a bigger problem? Instinct is suge a huge part when it comes to your children isn't it. So I would trust what your gut is telling you as well as what the school is telling you.
I would also ask the school if they've seen anything like this before.

Hope it all turns out well anyway. :)