How can I get my almost 3yr old to be more friendly and less hostile?!

[Caz10]

She is a smart badly behaved-- feisty almost 3yr old - speech is great, generally good behaviour at home etc etc, very much a pleasure!!

But I am quite saddened by her reaction to other children - if she is somewhere communal like a playpark or a soft play or similar and another child approaches she is not welcoming at all, but pretty snarly, and unless I get to her in time will tell them to go away, snatch toys back from them etc etc. I would have thought if she was eg playing alone on a slide and someone else came along to play too, that it would be good fun for her - but she has other ideas!

She is aware of doing it and shoots me a guilty look, I always make her apologise etc. Sometimes with a bit of coaxing she will accept the other child and they end up having a great time. But her initial reaction is so unfriendly!

She has a little group of friends who we see once or twice a week, have done since they were babies, and there is no problem with them. I just cringe when I see someone toddle up to her and her face immediately turns snarly!!

Any suggestions?!

D'oh I can never work the crossy outy lines!!!

badly behaved

Gosh sounds a little bit familiar, my son used to be like this from time to time. I actually think its down to shyness. He has been like this recently with our new babysitter who helps me get kids ready in morns....refuses to say hello and snarly when she arrives....i think its a form of shyness / anxiety in social situations maybe....sorry not sure that it helps. i encourage him to say hello and give him lots of praise when he does. sorry not much help but maybe someone has some good advice.

Thanks! Yes she can be quite shy - I try to get her to say hello etc, but normally by that point she is off on a loud and embarrassing rant about how "I don't WANT that little boy to play here" etc etc

Aarhgh!

Ds1 was exactly like this around that age (he is now 4.3). He used to get very emotional and over-sensitive moods (still does but less often) where we would go to the playground and he'd say loudly 'Ohhhhhhh! I can't play on the slide because THEY'RE on there!' Or he'd complain that another child was looking at him, and stick his fist out and frown sulkily at said child. It was really, really annoying and seemed to happen all the time. I used to just tell him that if he couldn't play alongside other children in the playground we'd just have to go home again as there was no point. When he realised I was serious (after taking him home a couple of times), he played up less like this. I do think it was largely for my benefit as he knew it wound me up.

Like your dd he has friends with whom he plays brilliantly, and actually when he's not being moody he can be pretty sociable and will go up and introduce himself (more recently). I do think sometimes he doesn't feel like sharing and likes to concentrate on a toy by himself, which is fair enough really. 3 is still quite young for being comfortable about sharing stuff, I think.

Thank you, I am hoping it is just an age thing, but we are now only 3mths away from her starting ante-pre school, so I think I am worrying more about things that weren't so much of a concern before, iyswim

I am the type of loon that smiles and chats to everyone, it gave me a surprise to see her bein such a meany!