How on earth can I make the mornings easier?

[starrychime]

Finding the mornings really stressful just now - DD, 7, just will not get out of bed without me going in and out for about half an hour saying Up time, you're going to be late, come on get up and so on....
When she does get up is incredibly grumpy for a while, says she's not hungry, won't get dressed, lies on the couch, sits with one leg in her tights watching TV, decides to start drawing just as we're heading to the door, goes back in to get something.. It's awful and I end up heading out the door a stressed wreck! Has anyone got any tips on how to make this smoother? We have to be out of the house by 8.30 at latest to make school and I'm usually still trying to get her up at 7.30 while rushing about trying to get ready for work as well. Help, please!!!

Earlier to bed so she gets enough sleep and earlier getting up so you aren't rushed.

Easier said than done but I have to get 2 teenagers and a 9 yr old up at 6.30 and have done for years and they are pretty good these days.

what time does she go to bed? Is she tired?

I get up and ready before getting Ds up, so I can be solely dedicated to getting him ready (but he is only 3).

Under no circumstances put the telly on unless she has her clothes on/ been fed.

bed earlier
up earlier

no telly till dressed, breakfast, teeth brushed, bag ready with coatnext to it and shoes on

even my three year old does this now

our alarm goes off at 6.30

Goes to bed about 8.30. We don't get in till 5 so by the time dinner, homework etc done we wouldn't have much time together if she went any earlier. Does seem really tired in the mornings (like her mum ) but is OK after a bit and doesn't complain about being tired in the car or at school.

no tv in the mornings helps us

I know the TV thing is bad but sometimes I need to use it to 'bribe' DD to get out of bed - 'Trapped ever after is on, get up (must admit I quite like this ) So used to having TV on in the background the house seems strangely quiet and echoey without it! (Not that I've got a big echoey mansion unfortunately, just a small flat)

Rules in my house for DD are:

No TV in the mornings unless dressed and teeth and hair brushed. Also if she's not ready by leaving time then she goes as she is and takes the consequences (this only took one journey in pyjamas to be effective!)

I'm another who does the get myself ready before waking children thing and an absolute rule of no TV etc until they're completely ready for school.

Has your DD got a radio in her room? Maybe when you first go in to wake her, wake her up gently then as you're leaving the room turn the radio on fairly loud and turn the bedroom lights on. Give her five minutes to come to and then out of bed.

Anything you can do the previous evening - getting uniform ready, setting out the table for breakfast etc - can also help smooth out difficult mornings.

I know what you mean about the background noise but what about putting the radio on instead? The added bonus is that most morning radio shows keep telling you what the time is as well. I would also call her bluff - tell her she's got until 8.30 to get ready then you're leaving - and do it. On a more compassionate note, are you satisfied there's nothing going on at school that's making her reluctant?

I would make bedtime earlier, i know this cuts out family time but better to have ncier mornings and grumpy little people. Ban morning tv . we get up (4 and 8yr old) and breakfast together then i instigate a race beteen two of them to get dressed before im out the shower.

Oh God, I really am crap at organising the night before - most mornings am drying DD's school stuff and my work stuff in the tumble drier while trying to get her up. Maybe get a radio for her room. Usually so stressed that I give in to the telly rather than deal with moaning and arguing and breakfast for DD is usually a quick bowl of cereal and some toast and fruit so doesn't really need table setting so no time to be saved there( I never have time to eat till I get to work) - I am crap, aren't I?

Maxpower, yes, pretty sure all is fine on the school front, it's not actually going to school - once we're in the car it's fine and she runs along the pavement and in the school gates to her friends all happy. It's getting out bed and all the other stuff!

What about a sunrise alarm clock?

An hour to get her and you ready isn't that bad.

Get yourself up a bit earlier and have all your stuff laid out the night before so you're not rushing around trying not to forget your own things. Wash and dry the night before or you'll have a dryer malfunction one morning and both be left without anything to wear. If you're not organised you won't have time to get her together and you're not setting a good example. Make yourself a cup of tea or coffee. Have at least a bit of toast. Have her things all set out the night before too, bag packed, lunch made if she brings a lunch. It should be part of the homework routine.

Unplug the TV, and when you wake her don't just call and then go back time and time again. If you have to give a second call, rip off the covers and haul her out of the bed. This cured all my DCs of lingering. Bedtime here is 9 and they're up by 7 at the latest for school starting at 8. We eat wherever we please for breakfast, and it's always simple for everyone, toast or cereal or instant porridge.

I would also let her dawdle along at her own pace at least once, and let her be late or dressed in pjs or slippers, so she sees what the consequences of her actions are. Warn her teacher though.

Ok, in our house...

Pile of clothes sorted out the night before, water bottles and bags sorted too.

Alarm goes off 6.50am, I get up 7am, get dressed, wake the kids before I have a wee,then come back and nag them to get up. They are both dressed by 7.20, maybe ds1 says upstairs a minute longer than us as he's a bit slower cos has a real tie!

Straight to breakfast table. They eat while I make a cup of tea, have a wash, check my email.

By about 7.45 they've finished eating cereal and toast, so they do teeth and put shoes on. They then have from say 7.55 ish until 8.05 to do what they like; play or draw or watch tv.

8.05, leave the houase to walk to the bus stop to get the 8.21 bus.

Math, I will really TRY to try all this tomorrow. Have to say in 2.5 years of school we have never once been late or absent , it is just the total STRESS of it all, tis not good for me!. Once I get to work it's feet up, coffee on (all set out for me by kind colleagues , sigh of relief!
Have had to resort on several occasions to offering piggy backs from bed through to living room to get her up and it's not good for my old bones!!

No TV in the morning.
Clothes all ready
Shoes, coat and book bag by the door

To school in pyjamas and slippers, kicking and screaming if necessary.

You are in charge, not her.

Pick a time when she's calm and in a good mood.

Explain the problem - that you need to get her out in time. Tell her how it makes you feel and say you don't want to be getting angry with her.

Ask her to think of possible solutions. Write them down (even if they're ludicrous!), and any of your own. Decide between you which of them you want to try using. Write them on a piece of paper in a conspicuous place to remind her.

(Disclaimer: Not tried this method myself, but I nicked the idea from 'How to Talk so Kids Will Listen, which I'd heartily recommend.)

Can you try a 8pm bedtime? I know it cuts into family/home time but at 7, she really really needs to sleep more.

She's not getting enough sleep.

Give her breakfast in bed - it will help her wake up gradually and the food will up her bloodsugar levels.