Do you indulge (or not) the totally (really crazy) irrational upsets/freakouts?

[pipkin35]

DS nearly 3. Has major freakouts. Examples:

Loves Thomas TTE. But, when it comes on the TV, freaks out, whimpering and crying and rushes over to turn the TV off - it's the song at the end he doesn't like - he used to adore it, and its the same song at the start, so WTF?! - but he won't even watch 5 mins of it cos he's anticipating the ending and the song coming on. I'm guessing it's because he doesn't want it to end? BUT, how best to deal with? I've tried 'You're being silly', asking about it etc....but he really flips out - not a tantrum, but like actually upset and disturbed. So, we turn over. Have tried extending the time I turn over, but he's not fooled.

Other example: starting to freak out about trousers. 'Not these trousers mummy, the blue ones!' - have indulged him once - I had time in the morning before nursery drop off/work - and he was fine when we got changed and he choose them, but today I didn't have time. he didn't forget about it and was very upset.
ARGH.
Please - what do you all do? I want to be consistent - I feel I'm sending him so many mixed messages at the moment - and am sure the way I even speak to him is too 'adult' but, I'm not sure of the best way to deal with these things. He seems to get really upset.

They get sane about four. Before that just do whatever's necessary to keep things as peaceful as possible.

DD is 2 and a half, so I'm going through similar at the moment.

How about giving him the choice of what he can wear from 2 options? Then he feels like he is making the decision (but ultimately you are in control). It's one of my favourite sneaky tactics!!

Normally do that idea, it works brilliantly. Sadly, not with the TV thing, but deffo with everything else.
Problem was I'd laid out stuff already to wear - though I wasn't adverse to changing that - but those particular ones were in the wash.........sheesh!

My thinking is to do as Hullygully says. I like that idea. But then I get all para and think - am I just gonna be rasing a spoilt brat who turns on the water works every time he wants something...?!

If you give your child a choice you are not being over indulgent you are encouraging their independence. The way to create the monster you are concerned about is to be inconsistent and give in to the screaming. That teaches the child that he can get what he wants if he can scream longer than you can stand your ground.

So if you offer him a choice then that is what he gets. He doesn't get to scream and shout in order to change the choices on offer. He gets to choose between the things you've offered. That means you need to think about what you're offering so that you don't have to back down and change it halfway through because that causes confusion.

See if you can work out why he doesn't like certain clothing. there are children who have sensory issues with certain fabric or seams. If you can identify and remove whatever it is you could save a lot of upset because those clothes just won't be there. My dd2 HATES the feeling of school trouser fabric with a passion.

As Al1son says, certain trousers might be uncomfortable. Try cutting the labels out, they can itch. Also, check how the seams are made, maybe the favourite trousers have enclosed seams and the ones he doesn't like have scratchy interlocking?

He might prefer natural to manmade fibres or vice versa, too. At nearly 3 he won't be able to tell you except by making a fuss :)

Hobsons' choice is a good one. They feel like they have control when really they are just doing one of two things you want them to do. "Which shall we do first? Brush teeth or wash face?" comes in handy too ;)

He sounds normal- like my son used to be! Thank God he's just turned 4!!! So nice to have him more rational... I have DD coming up to 2 so more fun to deal with!

So..... it's hard, of course you try to be consistent as you say, but sometimes life isn't like this so don't be too hard on yourself.

Re TTE, I would just avoid it for the moment. My son had/has similar freak out moments. Luckily they have got a lot less/almost vanished now. We still have to avoid Numberjacks and Lazytown (!!!). Oh, yes, and Humpty Dumpty on SHow me Show me (?!?!)

Have to say, it's only recently (nearer 4 than 3) that we can say rational adult things in regard to saying No, choices or lack of etc etc. Best to keep it straight forward and not go into all the ins and outs of why- can he be redirected? This can work well.

Sound perfectly normal to me. We had sobbing yesterday because pippin (come outside) got in the plane (he hates that bit). I'm going to avoid it i think for a while.