Bedtime routine for one year olds?

[Gizboss]

Hi,
So I was just wondering if any of you actively changed the bedtime routine as their DC got older or if it just naturally evolved? Since about 12 weeks old we have done: story downstairs, then upstairs for bath, then into bedroom and pjs, lullaby music on and then milk in dark, then cuddle, then put down in cot. Now, we did start trying to put DD down awake but went through various illnesses, teething etc when the only way she would go down would be to be sung to sleep - it didn't take long so no problem and then she would normally sleep ok. She's not an amazing sleeper anyway but that's for another post. Anyway, recently she's become far more difficult to get down at night, and when we do put her down awake she screams her head off - usually poos and has to be changed and then it all starts over again. Some nights it's fine but more often than not we have this palava. It can take an hour or more to get her to sleep when this happens. Anyway, I was talking to a friend about bedtime routines with her daughter (always an amaazing sleeper!) and she said that she thought one (just turned one last week) was too old to be doing milk in the dark and that I shouldn't be attempting to sing her to sleep at all. She says her DD (now two) has an hour of tv, milk in front of tv, bath then bed (always down awake) and has had this routine since she was under one. I'm not against trying different things though don't think an hour of tv would be wise for our easily over stimulated dd but would appreciate any ideas that people might have for introducing a less 'babyish'routine. Also, any reassurance very welcome if people think it is fine and will evolve naturally.
Thanks

When DS was about 18 months we had a real hiccup re sleeping so I started doing his milk with a book in his room at the same time, then brush teeth and into cot and that is still the same at 3 (trying to lose the milk and in bed now) have also been doing this with DD who is 13 months and it works for her. I think reading downstairs was always a bit to exciting- I think much calmer and quieter in their rooms. Good luck - you will get there!

Sorry just read that back and not sure if that will be much help to you. I struggled quite a bit and I think after about a month of the above he was going down awake. It just takes time for them to get use to it but he still has his moments now!! I let my DS watch TV but not sure if I would let him watch 1 hour before bed unless it was something very calming - think it would be better to read to her in her room quietly. Hopefully you get some more suggestions.

Thanks capturethecastle it's just good to know what others do. The reason I haven't gone for the book in room option thus far is that DD loves books more than anything else, I mean to the point of dragging books over and crying if they are not read to her - we sometimes hide them actually - serves me right as am an English teacher and pretty bookwormish myself! But I might try it with milk and see what happens. So do you just put down awake after brushing teeth? What happens next? Do they just lie there quietly or chatter? Did they ever cry when put down? Thanks again

My routine for dd at that age was tea about 5ish, then play for a bit, bath at 6pm, pjs, milk, cuddles and then into sleeping bag into cot for 7. I always put motzart for babies at bedtime cd on. I think at this age they do get a lot of seperation anxiety plus teething trouble!!! The joys, my advice would be be very consistent, if she crys sit near by but don't look at her iyswim. With my dd I would leave her for 10min intervals and she normally only needed me to go in and reassure once before tiredness would win and she would give into sleep!!!

Oh forgot story bit would do that after milk!

He did cry sometimes but I just sat at the door or outside his room - saying go to sleep or its sleepy time etc very quietly. It eventually worked - I think after about a month (but it wasn't every night). DD just goes to sleep but she sucks her thumb and has a blankie so much easier - if only he had been like that!! I know what you mean about books 2 can turn into 10 very easily. Maybe In the Night Garden or something similar maybe the way to go!

Hi,I'm watching this with interest as we want to change DDs bedtime routine.

Gizboss - At the moment she has her dinner at 6ish then sits quietly with us to watch a bit of In the Night Garden. After that she has her bath and brushes her teeth then I take her upstairs to get into her pj's and sleeping bag and read her a story while she has her milk. We then put her in her cot still awake and she usually goes straight off to sleep. She occasionally cries so we just go in, lie her back down and leave her for a few minutes to go off to sleep (it's tough sometimes to leave her crying but she falls asleep pretty quickly whereas if we stay with her/rock her she fights sleep and gets herself really upset).

I really want to do her bath earlier then give her the milk in front of ITNG so she brushes her teeth before going upstairs for a story and bed (milk isn't too bad but I think it's time to start looking after her little teeth ). I'm just a bit worried about changing her routine in case she stops sleeping. Like you I'm not sure how to let her routine evolve naturally and think I might have to just make the change.

Interesting thread. We've just been contemplating changing DD's (14mo) bedtime routine too. It's been taking up to two hours from me starting bedtime to her falling asleep, most evenings.

After a really bad time a few months ago when she screamed for hours, we realised we've been almost scared for DH to try bedtimes as she doesn't cry for me (messes around a lot though!). So he bit the bullet a couple of nights ago and put her to bed himself. The first time was without a feed (she's still BF) and I was amazed that she went to sleep - woke up a lot in the night though. Last night I fed her then he took over for stories and bed. Took 5 minutes!

Tonight he's working, so it was back to me again. I've been keen to get teeth cleaned after milk, so decided that as BF no longer sends her to sleep I'd do pyjamas, BF, teeth in bathroom, sleeping bag then stories in cot. She didn't protest at all, despite it being quite a change. Then took about 20 minutes to go to sleep (lots of rolling over and sitting up - I pick her up, quick cuddle, then down again with my hand on her back).

My next plan is to swap the bedtime BF for a cup of cow's milk, so that I don't always have to be around for bedtime, but don't think I'll do this yet as I don't particularly want to wean her and think it might lead to that.

Thanks for all the posts - it seems this is something lots of us are thinking about. So tonight we went for it and have changed the routine and she went down really easily: we did 2 bedtime books and bottle in room, bath then pjs and cuddles in dark, 3 lullabies and down in cot. She slept for 90 mins with no problem. However, she is awake now and is crying - we are trying not to pick her up so have just been in and comforted her and then left, will go back in 5mins if necessary. The more I think about it, the issue with our bedtime routine seems to be linked to her not sleeping at night as well and us picking her up whenever she cries. I hate the term controlled crying but think I'm going to have do a modified version of it. However, in relation to original thread we have at least made some progress with changing the routine and I feel happier that it is a less little baby routine. More thoughts and experiences still very welcome.

Hi there,
We've had quite a strict routine from about 12 weeks as it's fitted in with big bruv. We've tweaked it as she's got older but it's basically stayed the same- here it is- (she's now nearly two).

4.30 ish T.V

5pm tea time

5.30-6pm "quiet play"- no T.V.

6pm up for bath

6.30 read story and milk

6.45 bed

Actually we've just tweaked it so the milk is before bath, but that's to help big bruv stay dry at night (!).

It works like a dream. I am a great believer in no T.V. straight before bed, but I know lots of people do do it.

Re the sleeping better- she could well be in habits of waking up and crying and needing you because that's what she's always done, and she's stuck in that cycle.

Don't knock controlled crying- she is definitely the right age to do this if you need her to sleep better. You can do it in a straight forward way, and get her sleeping better very quickly. Dr Christopher Green in toddler taming can tell you how to do it - he's the chap that invented it!

Gets a bad press, but for us it was a godsend, as DD was a terrible sleeper until we did this and then became an increasingly better sleeper, to crack it finally at 13/14 months and be in the FANTASTIC realm- almost always gets herself back to sleep when she wakes at night, often very quickly indeed.

However, you must do a version you are happy with and can follow through and be consistent with or it won't work. For me this meant that I did go and pick her up when she cried- but it was very brief indeed.

Good luck!!

Thanks Tgger for your post - really helpful. I'm convinced the new routine is worth persevering with and after last night so is the controlled crying. It wasn't so bad because she didn't wake crying till 5, at which point we would normally, think, oh well, it's almost morning and bring her into bed but this time we went in and out but didn't pick her up every 5-10 minutes. It took an hour but eventually she went off again and slept until 7. We've made a big fuss of her this morning and she's fine, has eaten a good breakfast and actually seems less clingy than normal. So we'll do the same tonight. Thanks for the reassurance though - my instinct is that this is the right thing to do and as she doesn't have a cold for the first time in months, it's the right time too. Will keep you posted and further posts and experiences very welcome. We're not there yet!

Our dd is 13mths and this is roughly her routine:

5.30 tea
6.00 bath, pyjamas
6.20 plays quietly downstairs and watches ITNG while drinking milk
7.00 Upstairs for teeth brushing and bed. Still has little bit of bf before sleep but slowly trying to wean her off that.

She was a horrendous sleeper until about 11months when she started sleeping through. The two changes we made at that time were to start giving her formula milk downstairs and also, to not go into her as soon as she woke - we leave her for about 5mins max if she ever does wake up (sleeps through about 2 out of 3 nights now). Whether it was the milk, the modified cc, or just her getting older, I can say that getting a good night's sleep has made a huge difference to my life!