is it just me that feels like this?

[fattybum]

i just find my 4 year old ds1 so irritating. It's not just naughtiness, it's all the silly things like loudness, winding ds2 up, silly faces and behaviour etc. He's not like it all the time and can be lovely, but when he's in this mood i find it hard to be tolerant or even like him! Does this sound like typical 4 year old behaviour? Thanks.

yes, it's normal 4 year old behavior.

Instead of getting annoyed by him, try playing a game with him. You might find that when he has your full attention (difficult with another child, I know) he becomes a lot more likable.

bump

My DS turned 4 last month and is being very challenging too. I'm trying to work out what triggers the annoying behaviour (it is definitely worse when he's tired, but can happen at any time of day). He makes silly noises, talks over me, and is frequently destructive (knocking over DD, slamming doors etc), or just throwing himself across the room.

It really takes ALL my energy to stay calm and deal with DS. I find the only thing that works is to ignore some behaviours and distract him from whatever annoying thing he is doing. Also making a game of things (like putting on shoes etc) really helps when he is being unco-operative.

Apparently boys have a huge surge of testosterone at around the age of 4 so that might help to explain it... Also I think there are lots of changes at this age for them to adjust to. Has your DS just started school? Mine is only at preschool but he gets tired easily. He is usually past it by 6pm, so bedtimes can be a battle (though he's usually out like a light once he's down).

I'd also second colditz's suggestion. When I give DS my full attention, playing games, doing jigsaws with him etc, he's a lovely child! I lost sight of that for a while as his day-to-day behaviour is so exasperating.

Yes my DS1 is the same at times. Very irritating! I find that a LOT of it is caused by

1. Needing the loo (I insist he goes)
2. Thirst
3. Needing to get outside in the fresh air, if only for 5 minutes

He has just started school and he is very tired, therefore definitely worse than usual. I do try to ignore most things because they are not really naughty (he does naughty things also!) but sometimes I find myself just asking him to stop being annoying. I just hope he calms down again at some point, although I have a feeling this may just be him from now on.

You're right, when engaged in something or playing with me he can be great, but he can't have full attention 24 hours a day, which seems to be what he wants!

It will be interesting to see if ds2, who is two and very lovely, will go through the same thing...

My ds is 3.5 and for the last couple of days he has turned into Damien (just in time for halloween!)[hgrin] As you have described, uncooperative, jumping on the furniture, slamming doors etc etc. Nothing I say makes any differences, won't listen and has even been getting off the naughty step! cathbath interesting about the testosterone at this stage, explains a lot. To top it all, ds sat in some dog muck in his new jacket and it was only 10am! Can't wait for daddy to get home, feel it's time for a drink already! Glad i'm not alone, chin up ladies!
[hsmile]

Sounds completely normal to me! My DS is 4 years and 10 months and silliness is triggered by hunger and tiredness. We've had more than our share this week (half-term) because of a lack of routine and some late nights - I'm hoping he'll be caught up with his sleep by Sunday night so we can have a productive school week.

Nothing to do with the OP (though you have my sympathy), but you do know it's a bit rude to bump your own post without acknowledging someone who's replied to you, don't you. And colditz's post was really quite helpful.

Normal.
He needs lunging (ie made to run around outside).