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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

first night with no nappy:advice pls

25 replies

moonminmama · 28/10/2010 21:51

Ds had 2 dryish nappies then one completely dry. He has gone to bed tonight with no nappy. He is 4.2.

The question is what do I do? Do I wake him at any point to go for a wee or just leave him until the morning.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

canyou · 28/10/2010 21:53

Take him before you go to bed tbh it is easier then changing the sheets at midnight
Good luck

itsatiggerday · 28/10/2010 21:54

No idea what the norm is. We just started this with DD and haven't bothered with the 'lifting' thing (taking them to the loo in the night) but she has a potty in her room so she doesn't have to find her way to the bathroom. Out of 3 weeks, she's had about 4 accidents.

Oh, but I have put disposable absorbent change mats on the bed under where she usually lies and another sheet over the top (sideways so it tucks in) which has meant not having to change the bed in the night when she has had an accident.

Good luck!

madwomanintheattic · 28/10/2010 21:55

no no no. no lifting.
all lifting does is train them that they can (and should) wee in the night.

lifting used to be recommended, but it can lengthen the process considerably.

madwomanintheattic · 28/10/2010 21:56

Tgger · 28/10/2010 21:59

Hmmmm, I'm watching this post as we are on night 3. After 2 nights of wet beds we have decided to wake up DS (just 4) at 10/11 (when we go to bed) for a wee and then take it from there.
First night wasn't so bad, he wet the bed at 10, then at 6.15 (probably when he woke?), last night was dreadful probably due to being tired and anxious about it.
Fingers crossed for a better night tonight. I don't intend to take him to the toilet every night when we go to bed, but if it helps minimise the accidents and upset then must be the way forward.
So far he has just woken up wet... but I'm not sure how he can be expected to change from weeing in his nappy for 4 years to not "just like that". I'm hoping the taking him to the toilet thing will be a bit of a reminder.

Original poster

moonminmama · 28/10/2010 22:02

Thank you. Won't bother lifting. Have put absorbant mat under his sheet and have a fresh sheet and pj bottoms handy in case he wakes in the night. I gave him the option of the potty, but he said he wanted to be a big boy and use the toilet. The bathroom is next-door to his bedroom and we leave the light on all night.

I guess now its just fingers crossed and wait then
Thank-you

OP posts:

ThatDamnDog · 28/10/2010 22:02

Sorry to hijack but DS always wakes to come in with us and we take him to the loo if we're still awake at that point because when he's really tired he sometimes wets the bed. Should we just get him back to sleep pronto?

canyou · 28/10/2010 22:03

Really we had to do it with nephew [we noticed he would pee around 11] every night, so did take him at night and then moved last drink to earlier to help 'train' guess I should not have believed a child physiologist who had no children so no 'real training' only book learning we should have asked here first. Would have made life so much easier

madwomanintheattic · 28/10/2010 22:06

if he wakes up himself, then he may have woken because he needs the toilet (and that is fine - using the loo if he wakes up himself is great! that's what's supposed to hapen - if you need the loo, you wake up)

but you shouldn't ever wake a sleeping child to use the toilet, or lift them so that they are effectively weeing in their sleep - that's daft, it effectively teaches them to wee whilst they're in bed. not what you're after.

those with dc's who are wetting the bed - were they dry (or infrequently wet) in pull-ups before you tried night training? if not, you're facing an uphill battle as they aren't really ready for being dry at night...

Original poster

moonminmama · 28/10/2010 22:07

Tggr I must admit, until reading this thread I had every intention if 'lifting' him on my way to bed. But I.may give it a miss now and see what happens. Tbh if it turns out to be more hassle than I thought I will postpone until later.

OP posts:

ThatDamnDog · 28/10/2010 22:11

madwoman - he just wakes because that's what he does - did it long before he was out of nappies!

Good luck to those embarking on night training :)

Beamur · 28/10/2010 22:11

I'd agree with the above - if your child is wetting the bed every night perhaps they are too young - kids are ready for this at different times. A chum of mine had a little boy who was always thirsty at bedtime and a heavy sleeper - they ended up keeping him in nighttime pants/nappies until he was about 7.
I ask DD to use the potty before she goes to bed and have an absorbent mat under the sheet and a mattress protector, she's had an occasional accident but is waking in the night to use the potty if she needs it (with varying success...)
She's nearly 4.

Tgger · 28/10/2010 22:13

Hmmmmm, well I thought "no lifting" wrong message as recommended here until 2 nights of wet beds etc.

No, he wasn't dry before trying, so there's the chance that we are trying too early...

BUT.... he's 4 and a big boy (more size of 5 year old). I think he's in the habit of weeing in his nappy, I mean why wouldn't you?!

My friend today recommended the wake him up thing- she only had to do it twice for her son and then wasn't needed anymore.

I'm not going to keep going if he doesn't get it say within a week or so... will leave it for a few months... but we shall see... it was him who said he didn't want nappies at night anymore and I always had in mind that 4 would be a good age to try if he hadn't asked before that.

Original poster

moonminmama · 28/10/2010 22:20

Thanks again. I have only decided to do it tonight as he has been progressively drier for the last 3 nights and he is eager to do it himself. Certainly won't be pushing him if it isn't successful. I'm 6 months pg and struggling to sleep as it is so refuse to get up more often than absolutely necessary.

OP posts:

unfitmother · 28/10/2010 22:21

Don't lift, sounds like you are doing every thing I was going to advise like a second sheet over a bed mat.
Best advice, be patient, wet bed is not the end of the world.
DS is only just dry, he's 13!

Tgger · 28/10/2010 22:23

Good luck! Should think he may well be more "ready" than my son. But fingers crossed they both make it soon!

Lizzzombie · 28/10/2010 22:25

Ooh, interesting thread.
DS is 3.10 and a couple of people passed comment to me recently that he still went to bed wearing a nappy.
I am sticking to my guns and won't contemplate no nappies at night time until his nappy is dry.
So pleased that I am not unusual in deciding this.

madwomanintheattic · 28/10/2010 22:26

there's no harm in trying. it's when you decide that he's old enough and then try to 'train' them that you're onto a loser really.

tbh the enuresis alarms work on the basis that as soon as the child wets, the alarm goes off and wakes you/ them - the whole waking up to a shrieking alarm/ parent is so disturbing that over a couple of weeks the body learns to adapt to prevent it happening.

two reasons for night time wetting - non-production of the right hormone (ie body is not mature enough, however old the child) or too deep a sleeper. alarms will work in the case of the second. time or meds work in the case of the first.

if you're lucky you get one that produces the hormone nice and early

i've been lucky with one out of three.

Original poster

moonminmama · 29/10/2010 09:07

Success!! We have one happy mummy and one very proud and happy little... I mean big boy in our house this morning. Fingers crossed its the start of good things

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madwomanintheattic · 29/10/2010 15:51

oo, well done!

Original poster

moonminmama · 30/10/2010 10:06

Night 2 dry ... will stop updating now lol hope everyone else is having success

OP posts:

madwomanintheattic · 30/10/2010 15:13

so pleased! hope it continues to go well!

Tgger · 30/10/2010 20:09

Well done!! Just for everyone reading this's interest... we decided to stop trying for the moment as it was too much like hard work- I don't really want to be getting up at 4am either to take DS to toilet or to change his bed if the truth be known...

So..... we put a nappy back on, he was happy with this, woke at 6.15 desperately needing a wee. The nappy was almost completely dry which is very different from the drenched ones we've normally had before trying... so, seems he got the idea at least from our 3 tricky nights

by the way he didn't wet the bed the final night, but he didn't like waking up at 4 and nor did I (he woke me up then).

So.... unless the nappies are consistently dry and he asks again himself, we'll leave it for a couple of months or maybe more.. we'll certainly try to get him dry at night before starting Reception, but that's not until next September. There's really no rush, and seeing my confident (just) 4 year old all distressed wasn't worth it.

Original poster

moonminmama · 06/11/2010 10:46

We had a week of dry nights then the last 2 have had accidents :-( we shall persevere.

OP posts:

pranma · 06/11/2010 21:52

dgs is 4.2 and says he likes weeing in pullup at night!He is perfectly clean and dry by day.He wont have a potty in his room-'for babies' I dont know what to say whenn dd asks what she should do as she was dry from 2.3 and her brother was 'lifted' till he was about 6[advised in 1976].Should she leave it for a while?

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