Testosterone Surge in nearly 4 yo DS. Any Tips.

[Lizzzombie]

My DS will be 4 in January, and is either becoming a teenager or is starting his 4 year old testosterone surge a bit early.

From the ages of 18 months - 3 years he was a total handful. The terrible twos lasted a long time! But, the past 10 months or so he has been fabulous.

Now, a few weeks away from me having baby number two, he has turned surly, moody, aggressive, rude...etc. Lots of "I hate you's, I don't love you anymore's" etc. (have no idea where he has gotten this from)

I just wondered if anyone has any tips for dealing with this stage. I am thinking that maybe enrolling him for some kind of outdoor activity (football/rugby) would wear him out a bit, but I am worried it may make him even more aggressive or excessively competitive.

I just want my nice boy back. Please help!

Do you think he might be nervous/resentful about the baby? It could be a combination of that, his age and less exercise now that it is winter.

I'd just keep reassuring him, ignoring the rude comments (as much as possible) and get him going on some activities that he'll be able to continue after the new baby arrives. He will return to his old self, but don't be surprised if he has a difficult phase for a few months.

I don't think he is nervous/resentful about the baby. But it could be subconcious I guess, as he's been a single child for 3 and a half years and had me all to himself, I am fully expecting his nose to be put out of joint when the baby arrives!

I ignore the comments, like you suggest, it seems silly to rise up to them, but I just wish he would be nice again.

Thanks for the support though.

I know what you mean about wanting your nice dS back - I went through the same thing with DS1 (now 5.3). He's now back to his old lovely self, just in time for DS2 to hit the terrible twos!

Is there anything that your DS really loves doing? I found with DS1 that having half an hour a day playing monopoly, which he loves, really improves his general mood all day. We do it in the evening after I put DS2 to bed, and he looks forward to it all day

Good luck with your DS and the new baby!

Ah, hard.... but you will get your nice DS back, you just have to ride it out.

Make sure he has lots of postive stuff in his life- as pp said, find an activity he really engages in and encourage that, something you can do with him maybe.

He probably has got the vibe that things are going to change big time with the baby and that coupled maybe with his age is causing this behaviour.

Lots of reassurance (indirect is best I think... more by making him feel special with activities you engage with him/ talking/hugging etc), maybe something new if appropriate- outdoor thing might be good if he needs an energy release.

My son had the testosterone surge thing a while before 4, he's a delight again now. He suddenly got a lot more aggressive, having not been aggressive at all. Rough and tumble is great (but perhaps not in your pregnant state!) Can you get OH to do some at the weekend. Also I do think they have to learn to control the testosterone, and can't help some of the moods/stuff they do- not to say that it shouldn't be re-directed to good use though.
Enough waffle. Expect some acting out "bad behaviour" due to new baby coming though, and when it arrives and you will be forearmed!